Smaggle

Quite recently I bought a little bench top food processor, because I’m really lazy and I hate finely chopping food. I’m so lazy that when I eat carrots, I eat the whole damn thing like a horse, without cutting it into sticks, jamming that bad boy in my hommus like a boss. So I bought a food processor to aid in my new years resolution to not eat like a neanderthal.

I’m a total wannabe vegetarian (as in I love vegetables but I also love delicious and expensive organic meat) and as such I’m always looking for ways to eat copious amounts of vegetables without eating endless bowls of greens. I’m also funny about fat and sugar in my diet so store-bought dips usually aren’t my forte.

I’ve been experimenting and I’ve come up with a COMPLETELY guilt free dip that you can eat a whole bowl of and not have to buy jeans in the next size up. I’ve been eating this by the bucket load all week and I feel kind of amazing.

What You Need

A food processor

450gm can of whole baby beetroot (try to get low salt and sugar options but if this is an issue for you just boil your own fresh beetroot)

A bunch of coriander

3 Garlic cloves

1 teaspoon of cumin

Salt and Pepper to taste

2 tablespoons of non-fat natural yogurt

2 tablespoons of lemon juice

What You Do 

Throw all ingredients into your processor and blend that bitch!

Notes

Coriander chops best solo, so start with that and then add the rest. Also I have a teeny tiny food processor so I tend to blend in stages. If you have a giant mofo food processor, then go hard my friend. You can also skip the yogurt if you aren’t dairy friendly.

A Few Words About Beetroot and Coriander. 

They are two of the most underrated foods in the history of underrating foods. Coriander acts as a natural preservative which means this dip will keep for a few days in the fridge and in Iranian herbal medicine, coriander is administered to relieve anxiety and insomnia. Beetroot is just a purple ball of antioxidant awesomeness and it’s also a food that’s amazing for your blood which means increased protection against stroke and heart disease.

If you’re interest in going totally organic on this recipe visit Taste.com’s How to Prepare Beetroot page.

If you liked this recipe and want more punch-in-the-face-healthy food ideas then do follow me on Twitter or like me on Facebook.

Also, today’s featured image comes from the Raw Colour Exhibition. Swoon.

I spent yesterday sweltering in 40 degree heat which led to the consumption of three consecutive Frosty Fruits and the majority of my day was spent horizontal under the air con. Idle hands usually lead to excessive internet usage in my case, and I found myself randomly researching Hollywood starlets of the early to mid 1900s, with particular interest in their drug/alcohol abuse and sexual escapades.

Judy Garland struggled with an addiction to speed which, rumour has it, was supplied to her by her studio to keep her slim  and perky during filming. She also struggled with alcohol addiction and eventually died of an accidental drug overdose in 1969 at the age 47. 

Clara Bow was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and spent much of her adult life in and out of hospitals, being subjected to crude treatments such as electric shock therapy and lobotomies. She was also known to self medicate with alcohol and painkillers. She died of a heart attack in 1965 at the age of 60. 

Marilyn Monroe, international sex symbol and star, abused drugs and alcohol through out her career and had several marriages and divorces in that time, including her very public marriage to Joe DiMaggio that lasted barely 9 months. She died of a suspected suicide drug overdose in 1962 at the age of 36. 

After I’d read about ten biographies of these tragic, beautiful, talented and misunderstood stars,  I found myself feeling pity for our current day celebrities that are badly portrayed for behaving identically to their vintage counter parts.

I was pondering why an old story about a delicate, emotional, drug addled actress from the 50s is so much more romantic than hearing about a supermodel hitting the runway with half a bag of coke littered around her nose. Easy. Photographic evidence. It’s simple to picture Judy Garland, swanning around her mansion in a caftan and jewels, wistfully drinking whisky, swallowing a handful of painkillers and falling asleep to her glamorous death but I certainly don’t envisage Amy Winehouse’s death in the same light. I imagined her death to be like a scene from Trainspotting, which more accurately, is probably what both of their deaths were like. My synopsis of Ms Winehouse’s death comes from seeing image after image of her looking skinny, scabby, dirty and angry on the streets of London, flipping the bird at paparazzi and chain-smoking. I’ve seen no such images of Garland, although I don’t doubt that she had just as many wild nights as Winehouse and died in much the same manner. The pictures literally tell the story.

There’s also a bevy of incriminating information available about these celebrities in the form of tweets, blogs and stolen text messages. It’s much easier now for other people to gain less than flattering photographs of stars and share them in an instant. Which is why we’ve all seen Paris Hilton’s snatch stepping out of a limo twenty times and yet any glimpse we’ve seen of Marilyn Monroe’s unmentionables was classy and planned.

I’ve rewritten a few tabloid articles about some of the ‘troubled’ stars of our era and placed them next to glamour shots. They sound quite different next to a pretty picture don’t they?

Britney Spears started her career as a child star and become famous for her pop music. She began abusing alcohol early on in her career and suffered several drug induced psychotic episodes and had to be admitted to hospital at regular intervals. Her children were removed from her care due to her erratic and dangerous behaviour. 

Whitney Housten started her career as a gospel singer and became one of the most successful female recording artists of all time. In 1992, at the peak of her career she married singer/songwriter Bobby Brown. The relationship was abusive and drug fuelled and saw Whitney’s health rapidly and irreversibly plummet. They divorced in 2006 after a tumultuous 14 year union. 

Linsday Lohan, rose to fame as a freckled, pony tailed, red-head Disney kid. Her short career peaked in her early twenties before she started abusing drugs and alcohol, leading to loss of acting work and consistent rehabilitation visits. She also had several run ins with law enforcement  for crimes including theft and driving under the influence. 

If the internet and twitter had existed in Marilyn Monroe’s day, would we still view her with the rose-coloured glasses that we do?

If we had heard of Lindsay Lohan’s struggle with alcohol and the demise of her career 50 years after her death, would we still throw her callously in the trash basket?

If photos like these…

…existed of Judy, Clara or Marilyn, would we think they were just as fabulous as we do now?

What do you think? Has the internet taken the glamour out of celebrity faux pas? 

In 2011 I…

* Published my 1000th blog post.

* Hit the stage in two plays, The Mall and The Christmas Monologues.

* Released my first audio book How to Be The Perfect Bridesmaid.

* Contributed to articles in Cleo Magazine and The Age.

* Celebrated 5 years with my man.

* Trained myself to run for 6 kms without stopping.

* Made my first trip to New York for fashion week and IFB.

* Styled a commercial.

* Celebrated the fourth birthday of Smaggle.

* Dragged my man to Park Street for a Cleo fashion shoot.

* Caned myself at L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Week reporting on 6 shows in less than 24 hours.

* Spoke about body confidence for the Equality Rights Alliance.

* Celebrated my incredibly talented and gifted niece’s first birthday.

* Talked shit on the radio as PayPal’s Online Shopping Expert.

* Donated the maximum amount of blood allowed per year, per person.

* Met some amazing bloggers including Sarah Von, Mrs Woog, Ms Critique, Esme and the Laneway, Eden, Sawhole, St Murphy, Styling You, The Blog Stylist, Hair Romance, Grit and Glamour, Susie Bubble, Wendy Brandes, The Coveted, Business Chic, Style Melbourne, Harbour Master, Tulia and Ish and Chi. Also Sassy Bella and Stuff That I Bought via Skype. Hopefully this year I will tick Fat Mum Slim off my list!

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has visited my little corner of the web over the past four years. I really, really appreciate your support and contributions.

If you haven’t already, please do follow me on Twitter and like me on Facebook. I have a jampacked January planned and I’d hate for you to miss any of it!

Also, please share! What did you do in 2011?

Why don’t you…?

* Slip into some delicious silk lounging pyjamas? Slather your hands and feet in thick moisturising cream and pop on some cotton socks and gloves?

* Travel with a luscious cashmere pashmina to wrap yourself in when you get cold? In canary yellow? Wear matching ballet flats?

* Put some vanilla and rose oil in your bag and dab it on your wrists and neck every few hours? Saunter around the plane smelling like cookies and Turkish delight?

* Pack cleanser, toner and face cream in a velvet drawstring bag? Give your self a mini facial in the bathroom?

* Paint your nails bright red the night before and clasp a steaming cup of green tea through out the flight? Wrap your hair in a patterned scarf, turban style?

* Take some cream parchment-esque paper and a sepia fountain pen? Write letters to your lovers? Pack envelopes and decorate them with pretty seals? Sprinkle rose petals on the inside? Have them ready to post when you arrive at the airport?

* Wear massive sunglasses and a fur coat? Pretend that you’re an obscure, fabulous actress jet setting around the globe? Spend the flight reading from film scripts and signing head shots of yourself?

* Wear brilliant gems and pearls instead of clunky metal that will aggravate the detectors? A knotted string of fresh water pearls? A turquoise ring made of jet and tourmaline beads?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook for more gorgeous tips.

This is the time of year when you will get photographed continuously. It’s also the time of year when most of us are sporting extra podge and/or sunburn. Here are a few tips that I like to keep in mind around those sneaky Chrissy morning snappers.

* Always pose. There’s nothing worse than a picture of you all hunch backed and double chinned, glugging back a cocktail with your eyes half-shut. Just be aware of cameras and simply sit up straight and smile, to avoid those photos that make you want to have your face amputated in the New Year.

* Practice your smile. I find that a huge, majorly fake smile looks the most natural on camera. It sounds stupid and I guarantee you will feel like a right arse but it works. If you look like you’re having the best time of your life no one will notice your double chin. Your dazzling smile says it all.

* For full body shots always raise your arms a little off your body. Even the slimmest of women can benefit from the Hollywood pose. One hand on hip, body twisted to the side, other arm hidden. Best way to avoid that pool-of-arm situation when your bicep is flattened against your body.

* For the family shot, always stand to the back so everyone at the front will hide you. But if your family is anything like mine they will all be scrambling for the covetable back spots. If you are one of the youngest, you will probably be forced to sit on the floor, cross-legged, which is the most universally unflattering position. The solution to this problem is to grab the nearest child (cousins are ideal) and plonk them on your lap. A decent sized toddler will cover a multitude of sins. Best case scenario is always a back row Hollywood pose though.

* Sunglasses are fantastic. I always wear sunglasses and I am usually horrified when I see photos of myself sans sunnies with all that face hanging out everywhere. Give this one a try but be warned that grandparents are usually on risky behaviour watch.

* Pose to the side. Side poses are usually the most flattering and if you sort of half hide your body behind the person standing next you, you will look tiny. You need to do this with someone who doesn’t know what you are doing though. My mother and I tousle for ages trying to shove each other to the front until we just give up and hide ourselves behind some other oblivious victim.

* Don’t slouch. Seriously, don’t.

All photos are from the Christmas section of Awkward Family Photos. My brother and I are rather renowned for ruining Christmas photos but this lot wipe the floor with us. And that includes the photos from the Christmas that we both got stung by bees and our faces swelled up to the point that my mother had to explain to shop keepers for a week that she didn’t beat us up.

Guilty weekend confession. I watched The Way We Were for the second time ever. And not because it’s a classic. Nor because it stars Barbra Streisand who amuses me endlessly because she looks like a Muppet. No my pretties I watched this movie for a far, far more stupid reason. Because there was a Sex in the City episode about it and I really needed to understand what a ‘Katie Girl’ was. But I never found out because I fell asleep half way through it… for the second time. I assume a ‘Katie Girl’ is like ‘Carrie Girl’ but whatever, the point is there are some damn fabulous style tips we should be pulling from Ms Streisand. She’s all kinds of fabulous.

Style Tips to Steal

* Lots of black eyeliner - Get out those kohl pencils and liquid eyeliners and make a proper effort to get that mod look. Smoky eyes and glossy lips are oh-so-Barbra. With lashings of saucy mascara.

* Long tapered red nails - Katie has the most amazing long red nails that are filed into a tapered oval. Stunning. Her fingers look so long and elegant. Diana Vreeland’s nails were the same. None of this short and square French crap, lets rewind a few years and bring back the screen siren red daggers of yesteryear.

* Hair that makes a statement - Whether she is embracing her curls in college, or creating structural waves, Barb’s hair looks like hair with attitude. It knows what it’s doing and what it’s trying to achieve and does it effortlessly. It’s efficient hair. Don’t let your hair ‘be’. Tell it what to do, you’re the boss baby.

* Bangles and Pins - Barbra’s choice accessories through out the movie are chunky bangles and chunky pins. They work perfectly together. Who’d of thunk it?

* Little jackets and cardigans - Perfect for in between weather, Barbra takes work outfits into the evening with little wrap cardigans  and short jackets. Much hipper than clunky jackets or long chunky cardigans. And perfect for pairing your bangles and pins with!

What do you think? Will you work a little Babs into your next outfit?

Every summer I have season envy when I cruise the winter show images and see slender Parisians in fine coats and delicious boots. I’ve been drooling over the designer shoes at FarFetch and I’ve decided…

Next winter? I want embellished booties.

Paciotti

Valentino

Valentino

Margiela

Choo

This post was brought to you in association with FarFetch.

It’s the week before Christmas and the insane crew at Mellow Yellow Productions are performing a short evening of whacky Christmas monologues. There’s $5 drinks, a shite load of cleavage and you’ll be home in your bed by 10pm. Tops.

If you would like to check out my acting chops, I’m on stage at Broken Mirror Studios in Brunswick from 12th Dec until the 17th Dec. Every night this week. 8pm. Cheap beer and wine. Boobs.

See you there.

“If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never had gotten anywhere!”

- Marilyn Monroe

According to PayPal, shit loads. Apparently over 30 million dollars will be spent online by the end of this year in Australia. That’s barmy, that is.

Why do I know this? Because I’ve been working with PayPal for over a year now as a contributing editor at Lustable and this Christmas they’ve put my online shopping addiction to good use and have taken me on as their online shopping expert for Christmas 2011.

Here’s a few recordings of interviews that I’ve done over the past few weeks. I know a few of you were disappointed that you missed the live airings and the PayPal gals were kind enough to track down recordings for me.

111128 5AA – Interview with Smaggle-1 by Smaggle

111128 6PR – Interview with Smaggle by Smaggle

111205 2UE BOSD – interview with Carly by Smaggle

Honestly, I don’t expect anyone except my mother to listen to them all, so don’t feel pressured. I start almost every sentence with ‘absolutely’ and speak at the speed of a runaway freight train, so that’s the basic gist if you don’t have the inclination to listen. Also don’t panic at the second one, I only speak for the first little bit, it’s not 38 minutes of moi.

I’ll keep you guys updated with any more interviews.

You can also find my interview updates on Twitter and Facebook.

So… how much of your Christmas shopping was done, or will be done, online this year?

Me? 100%. True story.