Smaggle Style

 Guilty weekend confession. I watched The Way We Were for the first time ever. And not because it’s a classic. Nor because it stars Barbara Streisand who amuses me endlessly because she looks like a Muppet. No my pretties I watched this movie for a far, far more stupid reason. Because there was a Sex in the City episode about it and I really needed to understand what a ‘Katie Girl’ was. But I never found out because I fell asleep half way through it. I assume a ‘Katie Girl’ is like ‘Carrie Girl’ but whatever, the point is there are some damn fabulous style tips we should be pulling from Ms Streisand the Muppet Master herself…

Style Tips to Steal

* Lots of black eyeliner - When did women stop wearing make-up? Get out those kohl pencils and liquid eyeliners and make a proper effort with your make up. Smoky eyes and glossy lips are oh-so-Barbara. With lashings of saucy mascara.

* Long tapered red nails - Katie has the most amazing long red nails that are filed into a tapered oval. Stunning. Her fingers look so long and elegant. Diana Vreeland’s nails were the same. None of this short and square French crap lets rewind a few years and bring back the screen siren red daggers of yesteryear.

* Hair that makes a statement - Whether she is embracing her curls in college or creating structural waves Barb’s hair looks like hair with attitude. It knows what it’s doing and what it’s trying to achieve and does it effortlessly. It’s efficient hair. Don’t let your hair ‘be’. Tell it what to do, you’re the boss baby.

* Bangles and Pins - Barbara’s choice accessories through out the movie are chunky bangles and chunky pins. They work perfectly together. Who’d of thunk it?

* Little jackets and cardigans - Perfect for in between weather, Barbara takes work outfits into the evening with little wrap cardigans  and short jackets. Much hipper than clunky jackets or long chunky cardigans. And perfect for pairing your bangles and pins with!

P.S - No outfit post today (or most of last week) pretty much because I haven’t taken off my sari since I bought it. Mama Smaggle says she is going to confiscate it because she thinks it needs a wash. She just doesn’t understand the pleasures of pure silk against her skin or she would she never force me to be without my slinky haven…

Okay I know I only just did a Face Hunter post but I have a massive girl-crush on this gal from the most recent Face Hunter post. I love her cardigan, her hair, her dress, her necklace… she is too perfect. A month ago after a very disappointing and practically non-existent hair colour I have decided to get some bright pink streaks done just before Christmas. This girl has totally re-inspired me!

Here are the Facehunter hotties that slowed me down during my rapid early morning scroll…

A reader contacted me recently with a bit of a dilemma. She was saying how she admired my outfit posts and wished that she worked in a relaxed office like mine where she could get away with dressing like herself. She claims that ‘dressing like an usher’ is expected in her workplace and asked me to do a post on how to dress jazzy in a stuffy office. I do admit that my office is more relaxed than most but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to watch what I wear. Here are a few pointers to remember -  

• Be mindful of showing skin-  Breasts are not an appropriate accessory for the workplace. Neither are your thighs. This doesn’t mean dressing like a nana it just means to use your best judgement and leave the underwear skimming mini’s and the plunging necklines for the weekend. Or your lounge room. I am the biggest prude in the world and I think that some things should be left to the imagination.
• Wear your jewellery courteously- big clanging bangles are not okay if you share an office. (My office buddy Browny will totally dob me in for wearing bangles all the time but she loves me so it’s fine). With jewellery I always say the bigger the better as long as it’s silent.
• Be neat and well groomed -  This has NOTHING to do with your personal style. Whatever you wear make sure it is clean, ironed and covers what it is supposed to cover. This is simplest rule ever and so many women forget it.
• Ask for a dress code - A few months ago I was chastised at work for wearing ¾ length black pants (I am still trying to figure this one out) so I very politely asked for a dress code so I could avoid such situations again. The dress code was never given to me and I was never chastised again despite wearing many outfits that I would deem much more inappropriate than standard black pants. Just remember you can’t get into trouble for wearing something you didn’t know you weren’t supposed to wear (within reason of course). And if your office is too lazy to find or create a dress code then they don’t have a leg to stand on in terms of your office attire. Also if your boss is having a bad day and complains about something really strange don’t take it too personally and just move on.
• Take advantage of ‘Casual Friday’. When everyone else is wearing jeans on a Friday wear something fabulous. A massive necklace you’ve been too shy to wear or hairpiece made of feathers. Casual doesn’t have to mean jeans. I interpret ‘casual’ as what I wear on the weekends which could be a maxi dress and cork wedges or straight leg jeans with a trapeze top.
• Think about where you work. Obviously if you are lawyer and you like to wear neon body paint and plastic decapitated dolls around your neck, work place attire will prove problematic for you. The secret is to down play it and to do it subtly. Wear a bright eye shadow or some funky earrings. Wear an acid green shirt with your suit. Subtlety is the key to getting away with dressing like yourself without being inappropriate about it.
•  Think logically. If you wear a skirt that is a respectable length and a top that covers your breasts but you accessories with a big bow in your hair do you really think that your boss will say anything to you? Seriously? If he/she thinks it’s inappropriate I can almost guarantee that nothing will be said because there is no basis to the complaint. It’s not vulgar or offensive so there is really nothing that they can say. However if they ask you not to wear it and you still do then you may just lose your job. I will accept no responsibility if that happens but I might send you a condolence lolly-pop.
• Be wary of summer. Summer is the killer season for dressing well and comfortably at work. What’s the go with sleeveless tops? How low can you go? How high can you go? Are t-shirts appropriate? Personally I think if you are going for a sleeveless top (which can be a necessity in 32 degree heat like today!) make the straps thick. Spaghetti straps just won’t cut it and they look far too casual. With low tops and high skirts use your own judgement. Just remember that a revealing boob tube won’t make you any less sweaty and gross than a modest summer tank. As for t-shirts I say go for it! Just make sure they are clean, relatively new and fit well.

Here I have created a few office outfits to help you work in some tricky items in an appropriate manner

Summer Outfit

The trick to getting away with a sleeveless top at work is make sure that the straps are thick and that the top is a relaxed fit. Wearing neutral colours like cream and beige look professional but make sure you funk it up a bit with heels in a vivid colour and some Kenneth Jay Lane bangles. Always Kenneth. Always.

Winter Outfit

Keep mini skirts for winter and wear them with the thickest of opaque tights and sensible boots. Also make sure that you cover up on top to make up for showing a little led. Again starting with a neutral base is the key for office attire and then you can add colour as you go. With a scarf, hat, cardigan and winter layers keep accessories at a minimum - try a chunky cocktail ring instead of your usual earrings.

Casual Outfit

Take advantage of casual Friday! If jeans are acceptable wear them but try to avoid loose styles and washed out denim as these can look to casual even for casual Friday. Stick to tailored dark jeans with a classic cut. Wear a bright and trendy top and be cheeky with your accessories. Wear those plastic anchor earrings that you bought at Dangerfield or the distressed leather cuff that you love. Or you could spend a stupid amount of money on these Disney Couture Tinkerbell earrings - if only I had money to burn. Oh and always match your belt either to your shoes or your bag. Some people would disagree with me but I adore uniformity in an outfit.

And one more thing to tell you before I let you loose in the world of office style - Is it always better to be over dressed than under dressed for work.

Christmas is just around the corner. That’s right. Months of tacky decorations, John Farnham’s Christmas album on permanent replay and those horrifying sensor driven dancing Santa’s at David Jones. The shops are so full of overpriced Christmas crap that it’s difficult to buy a toothbrush at a decent price. And to find anything that looks even remotely individual is impossible. What I am trying to say my lovelies is that it’s time to start thinking outside the box! My delicious friend Mrs. MacFunk purchased some cut out plastic Chrissie decorations from the delightful Pepe’s Paperie. And the cheeky monkey has gone and made a necklace out of it!

Go forth and prosper my little craftmeisters! With all the decorative stuff in stores at the moment the world is your D.I.Y oyster…  

I am really, really worried about global warming. To the point where I have 20 second showers and flat out refuse to wash my car. I also use water bottles for way longer than can be considered hygienic but this is my sacrifice for the planet. I have been trying to use those green bags from Woolworths but I seriously must be lacking vital brain cells because I cannot ever remember to take them into the shop. I remember to put them in my car. On the passenger seat right by my handbag. I even congratulate myself on what a fabulous greenie I am and I image that I will stroll around the shops and in the most elitist fashion wave away the shiny bags and masses of tissue paper and use my green bag and be personally responsible for stopping global warming… if I could remember to pick the bloody thing up and actually use it! I have even carried a cloth bag in my handbag, forgotten to use it and still used plastic bags. I am still working on it but my green-ness is much improved since I was given a pretty canvas tote for my birthday. A funky bag is much more appealing than those hideous green ones at Woolies and lets face it if you’re giving up the tissue wrapping and stickers there would want to be some compensation. Here is a little Etsy treat to inspire green shopping in style…

Marinaneira

Bondgirl

Hobocampcrafts

EBspider

stevester

All of these stores have several different styles so check them out. They are also majorly bargainous and friendly to the environment. Guilt free Etsy spending.

1. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/brandyinpink/511148572/”>Sunnydays.</a>, 2. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/likemarlonbrandobutbigger/1537093509/”>sketchn shoot</a>, 3. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/adamhaus/755217303/”>ashleyhearts sunglasses</a>, 4. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/kmtucker/497098735/”>Day111:  Strange fascination, fascinating me.</a>, 5. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/loveloveloveus/1582035828/”>strawberryfields - detail</a>, 6. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/peachcakeknits/1270502168/”>newsunglasses</a>, 7. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/haydenm/562736221/”>Hearts</a>, 8. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/birdsarefunny/1770917791/”>Untitled</a>, 9. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/genstarchild/274169216/”>Two Eye Hearts.</a>

Meet my latest obsession. I am cruising through Ebay at regular intervals trying to find the perfect Lolita pair - red rims with dark lenses. Preferably mirrored so that the greying middle aged man trying to seduce me can be seen elusively through the lenses. I will also be requiring a red heart shaped lolly pop. Surprisingly the latter is proving harder to find. I have always been a purist when it comes to my accessories and I prefer more elite materials than most but recently I have developed a strange obsession with plastic. I just bought three massive clear plastic bangles that I am adoring. And I can’t wait to wear them with my perfect Lolita sunglasses as soon as I win them on Ebay…

After stumbling upon the lovely Tasha’s Grace Kelly Page it is clear to me that Grace Kelly was a pioneer of wardrobe basics. She always looked perfect for every occasion and groomed to perfection. Her clothing had the right amount of embellishment and flair as well as suitability and appropriateness. Here are the top 5 Grace Kelly basics every woman should own…

The Bow - Wear them on your wrists, around your neck, on your shoes, around your waist or in your hair. The only rule is to wear one at time. Size is irrelevant.

The Hat - Nothing will complete an outfit like a hat. I know it takes guts to wear hats but visit The Vintage Society and she’ll show you how to do it. My only piece of advice is to make the commitment. You have to wear it all day or the hat hair will turn you off for life.

The Tiara - Okay I know it’s not exactly a basic but while cleaning my room this week I was horrified to discover that I don’t actually own one! Needless to say I am now on a serious tiara hunt for those days when I don’t feel like enough of a princess without one…

The Cardigan and Pearl Earrings - I know it’s terribly un-feminist of me but how cute would it be to cook your boyfriend/husband/partner dinner while wearing a little twinset and pearl earrings with an apron and heels? I have a feeling that any modern man would be delighted! Just don’t make a habit out of it…

The White Shirt - It’s clean, crisp and classic. I’m far to grubby to pull this one off but for those ladies that use tissues and hand towels this one’s for you!

Damn those ladies on Facehunter know how to do it. I challenge all the ladies in the Smaggle Kingdom to embrace the beauty of red. Either a statement piece or a few splashy accents. It’s all about red…

The Queen 

Queenly style tips from the lady herself…

* Hang up your bag. The Queen always carries an S shaped meat hook in her bag. Not for spearing people through the nostril with but to attach to the edge of the table so she can hang her bag up. What a deliciously classy thing to do.

* Create secret signals. If The Queen places her handbag on the floor it is a cue to her attendants that she is bored by the person sitting next to her. A lady in waiting then comes to her rescue. If her bag dangles from her left arm it means everything is going well. Have a secret signal with your man or bestie so you can rescue each other from the hell of conversation domination or to let the other know that everything is cruising.

* Wear scarves when outdoors. Hermes scarves if your budget allows. The Queen is seldom seen on her walks without her Hermes scarf knotted under her chin. Apparently the wearing of the scarves is the corgis cue that’s walk time.

* Be frugal. The Queen was once ordering champagne for a dinner party and told her staff to get the cheapest one available. She said ‘Who will know the difference when it’s wrapped in a white cloth?’. I also read somewhere that she has a collection of 20 handbags. 20. I have 20 handbags. How amazingly resourceful to constantly be in the public eye and not feel the need to buy hundreds of different bags. Choose carefully and don’t spend money unless you really need to.

* Wear pearls often.