Smaggle Style

I know it’s a little early to be considering the wonderful season of Autumn but I’m the snuggliest person in the universe and I am hanging out to get back into my socks and tights. Here is a list of the things that I am coveting for Autumn this year…

* Over the knee or knee high socks

* Tights in every colour

* Black boots

* A long string of ivory coloured beads

* A rose garland necklace

* Vests

* A trench coat

* Converse All Stars

* A scarf/hood thingy (I think Diana Vreeland called them ’snoods’)

Here is Agathe from Style Bytes wearing one

I am going to go for a very layered come-frolic-with-me-in-the-daisy-filled-meadows kind of look this autumn…

Here are some ladies from Facehunter rocking the look

The white shirt and relaxed jeans are so casual and cool - I love it!

I adore coloured tights with Mary Janes. They make me want to click my heels and say ‘There’s no place like home!’

A delightfully floaty dress over tights and boots. I also love the severity of this girls hair. What a wonderful contradiction to the outfit.

Get twice the mileage out of your summer frocks by warming them up with toasty cardigans and scarfs.

Using black with purpose is so alluring. She’s not monotone at all, she is using all kinds of shapes and textures to get the most out of her black.

How about you? What are your Autumn cravings? Besides lasagne and red wine I mean…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

I know this is a controversial opinion but I truly believe that Cory Kennedy is setting a bad example to the youth of the world. I am by no means referring to her underage drinking and partying, dating hideously inappropriate older men or even her use of the Paris Hilton Fame Principal by which one becomes a celebrity by doing absolutely nothing. Something tells me that American teens will do this anyway. Australians too for that matter. What I am referring to is her dress sense. Sure she is cute and waifish and quirky and generally looks acceptable but what upsets me is when girls start to copy her. It just doesn’t work.   

Observe the look of Miss Kennedy…

Looks pretty funky doesn’t she? I was picking these photos thinking ‘Why I am dissing her style again…?’. But it’s not her style I am dissing. It’s the fact that blind 15 to 22 year olds are copying it! And just quietly why is that person wearing green opaques with Nike trainers? Do you see the company this girl keeps?

Now please don’t mistake this fashion rant for a complete and utter hatred of the grunge look. I like to rock a little Courtney from time to time but I like to sprinkle a little of the dirt not pick up a bloody shovel and dig myself into a hole of filth. What I am wondering is when it became acceptable for girls to roll out of bed, not brush their hair, throw on whatever they found on the floor and then have the hide to strut their stuff like they’re fashion icons? From reading Cory’s blog I have discovered that her life is a series of parties and I strongly suspect she no longer attends school. Her lifestyle actually explains her look. Which is fine. And she pulls it off. This is also fine. But there are impressionable young girls wandering around your local shopping centre sporting her trends and looking well… really bloody ugly. Let me make my point a little clearer… Here is a picture of me wearing three MASSIVE Cory trends. A headscarf worn around the front of my head, mum jeans (or Mom jeans as the Americans like to say) and unwashed/unstyled hair. And just so you know I am only doing this because I love you..

My god. I didn’t even know that I had thunder thighs until I wore these jeans. And being the caring Smaggle that I am I decided to spare you all the photos of the dreaded camel’s toe. Was it something that women of the eighties just accepted? I mean were the hill-billy hitched up pants really worth suffocating your moot for? I mean this looks TERRIBLE on me. But at least I am willing to admit it.

And just when you think it couldn’t get any worse…

Holy moly. Look at that derriere. Quite impressive I’d say. Can I tell you a secret? I actually don’t have a really fat arse. I’m my father’s daughter and we were born without butts. Our cheeks just tend to blend into our thighs with out so much of a Beyonce bulge. I must admit I do have a little junk in my trunk but in the grand scheme behind-sizing mine is certainly on the mid to small end of the scale. Where the hell did that arse come from?

Cory has developed a niche look for herself and although it’s not entirely to my taste it suits her. If anyone can make an eighties reject Tweety Bird t-shirt look hip it’s going to be her. But what we have to understand is that someone like me who is at least 3 sizes larger and a good few inches taller than Cory will look stupid in what she wears. Well that’s pretty bloody obvious, look at the photographic evidence.

Are we convinced yet? Cory looks rather endearing in a street-urchin-on-crack kind of way but Lady Smaggle looks like ’the bad girl’ guest star on 90210 with serious bum issues. By all means, experiment with different styles and if you want to wear arm pit gripping stone wash stove pipes then go for it and god bless you. But I beg you to wear them because you love them and love the way you look in them. NOT because Cory is wearing them. If you want to try the mum jeans go ahead. But if you look as jaw droppingly fugly in them as I do I beg you not to wear them. No one will think you are cool and you will just feel uncomfortable. Don’t do it to yourself.

Oh and just a side (snide) note… does this girl live in the gutter? Why is she always photographed sitting in the street or in the corner of some grotty looking bar? Would it really be so terrible to sit on a chair?

Your turn lovelies… What copycat disasters have you experienced? Are there any styles out there that really get your goat? Come on, I showed you mine…

Love Lady Smaggle xxx

I may be paranoid (or slightly ego-centric) but this is one hell of a co-inky-dink don’t you think?

Here is the latest issue of Russh (January-February 2008)

They have this lovely editorial on dressing for your star sign. Here is the Virgo one…

Not only is it my star sign but those are my bloody white heart shaped sunglasses that I wear all the freakin time! Here is me wearing the sunglasses in December last year. Spooky….

And as if that’s weird not enough they did this little snippet about Kate Moss’ new do

Comparing her to Stephanie Zinone… sound familiar? That’s because I did a post about hairstyles of the past in December last year and featured the Grease Queen herself. And the two posts were only a few days apart…

What does everyone else think? Paranoia? Or an amazing coincidence?

Love Lady Smaggle xxx

It was only a matter of time before I had to write something about fluoro. Although I must pre-warn everyone that this post will not be favourable towards fluoro. I experienced the fad the first time around in the 80’s when it was shown in the form of push down socks and bike shorts. I believe that if someone embraced a trend 15 years ago that it’s a) unlikely that they will want to participate again and b) it’s waaaaay to soon for the trend to be returning. But alas all the little Supre supporters of the city are skipping around wearing their fluoro pink House of Holland rip-offs that say stupid things like ‘Frankie Say Relax’ or ‘Eat Beef’. I have never been an avid follower of trends but that’s only because I am totally bi-polar when it comes to my style and I also have massive commitment issues. Needless to say it’s hard enough for me get dressed in the morning when I don’t even know what I like and that’s without taking trends into consideration.

But this trend is one that has been baffling a few my readers so I thought we could start off slowly with a few funky pics from Face Hunter. Here are some ladies working fluoro in a respectable manner. These ensembles may not be to your liking but I for one am highly impressed because anyone I have seen wearing fluoro in real life looks like a clown on speed. These ladies look achingly cool and effortlessly hip… bitches.

Pairing hot pink with grey tights and booties. And it’s velour. She is wearing HOT PINK VELOUR!!! And she looks like sexy Strawberry Shortcake. I applaud you young lady!

This lass is adorable. And she perfectly shows off the use of fluoro in the form of accessories. She may have been a little OTT with the amount of neon she is sporting but we’ll forgive her because she lives in London.

Utter fluoro perfection. A neon green strip of a shoulder bag strap to accent a dark blue dress.

 Photos by Facehunter

Are you shaking your head in utter disbelief yet? Who would have thought that this basic cream mini and grey cardi would look so bangin with neon pink tights?

Fluoro is not the enemy my darlings! It’s the people who screw it up by blindly wearing trends they see in magazines without understanding the principles of the style. Keep reading and I will led you into neon salvation. I am sure you’re all wondering why this strange fad is back in our little lives. Blame Emanuel Ungaro. These pics are fresh from the runway and they perfectly illustrate the dangers of fluoro. The biggest problem anyone will have with neon brights is the fact they look rubbish against almost all skin tones.

BAD FLUORO - Obviously this girl is a model and is professionally lit from all angles and airbrushed to perfection before she struts her stuff down the catwalk and she still looks anemic in that yellow dress. Imagine how hard it would be to pull off this colour on the street? My recommendation is to use this colour sparingly to avoid making yourself look like you’ve had your liver removed…

GOOD FLUORO- Ah the beautiful Miss Ward… This thick shard of acid yellow is sharp and concise. The neon doesn’t over power the dress or affect the look of her gorgeous skin. However if you are hell bent on wearing a full article in acid yellow there is only one solution to the skin problem…

 Photos by Style.com

You have to be black. It’s like the fluoro law, or something. Why on earth would a pasty mofo like me even TRY to wear fluoro yellow when it looks so spectacular on our chocolate toned ladies? It’s doing the dress a mis-service. Rude.

 So with all that eye-candy in mind here are few tips on how to go fluoro… if you must.

* If you’re Caucasian avoid full, solid articles of colour -Stick to splashes of fluoro to avoid looking sick. Try a belt or these shoes for a bit of a fun twist. If you’re not Caucasian… go forth and prosper my child.

* Don’t go OTT- A few pieces of neon is enough, trust me. No one needs to be blinded so just give your outfit a little kick not a thorough thrashing.

* Pair neon brights with nudes, creams and beiges- Take advice from the Facehunter ladies. It’s best to tone down the rest of your wardrobe to make a statement with the fluoro.

* Think carefully- Why are you wanting to wear fluoro? Because it’s ’so now’? Because you saw it in a magazine? Or because Supre and Sportsgirl finally knocked it off and now you can afford it? ALL of these reasons are really stupid I recommend that you drop the fluoro and back away slowly. ONLY and I mean ONLY wear fluoro if you really love it. It’s a difficult palette to wear and will only be pulled off if you have the correct intentions.

Like these ladies from Helsinki. They clearly both adore fluoro and they both say that dressing this way makes them happy. What a fabulous reason to wear what you wear. I am more than happy for anyone to throw my advice back in my face and prove me wrong by DRESSING WITH INTENT. Both of these ladies have gone OTT with neon, both are wearing large articles of solid fluoro, both are caucasian and neither have paired their neons with beige. And they both look fabulous. I am not going to post a picture of bad fluoro street wear because that’s just mean. But just look around you the next time you’re in a shopping centre. Bad fluoro is when there are five girls aged fourteen wearing lame knock-offs of designer clothing and none of them have any understanding or intention behind their outfit other than the fact that all their friends are wearing them. Bad fluoro. BAD FLUORO!!!

 Photos by Hel-looks

If you absolutely have to have something fluoro because you need to be on trend try this funky tee. It’s subtle but still edgy. And guess what it’s called? Sunscreen! Remember Zinc? Those sticks of neon sunscreen that you’d smear right across your nose? Sometimes I reflect on times past and think what spectacular morons we are…

Emshop Online

And one more point about fluoro before I move on… these dresses are spectacular are they not? But they are completely stripping the wearer of the focus. Why wear a dress that’s going to get more attention than you?

 

Disclaimer - I hate fluoro. I think it’s horrible. But I have serious sartorial respect for those that can rock it. And to be honest a little jealously too…

Dedicated to Oomalay…

Love Lady Smaggle xxx

Guess what smagglets? I have a new obsession. Really, really long and stupidly big earrings. I’m talking impractical, earlobe stretching, bordering on comical ear accoutrement. I blame Edie Sedgwick. There is just something uber cool and rebellious about wearing earrings that behemoth. I LOVE my accessories but I find myself wearing necklaces more than earrings because they are larger and they don’t get hidden by my masses of crazy hair. But never fear as these giant ear sparklers garner as much attention as a statement neck-piece if not more. However there are few things you should be aware of before taking the tribal plunge…

Beware of shoulder duster earrings with a complicated collar. Chanel can pull it off but I wouldn’t try this at home.

Just like the adorable Edie make sure you keep your hair simple and neat to offset the eccentricity of the earrings.

 Personally I would avoid the whole headdress/Pocahontas look but imagine how spectacular these peacock feather earrings would look with a long slinky black ball gown… how terribly 40’s. Cap this look off with smoky eyes and a martini…

Oh and do avoid going OTT with your other accessories. I love the hair clip but I could live with out the weird chicken’s bum feathers at the back. I get that she’s a bride and everything but it’s kind of weird.

And to further my integrity as a fashion blogger I have included photographic evidence that I am actually rocking this look today. I have been meaning to make a pair of massive earrings ever since I saw Factory Girl (which was crap except for the costumes) but I haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. Luckily I found these gems at a retro shop in Bungendore yesterday. I had to fix them because the ear-wire was really fat and wouldn’t fit in my modest little hole. I just attached a couple of hooks and some jump rings and they are as good as new. They are really bloody heavy though and to be honest I don’t know how long they will last. But I do love the jingly sound they make when I walk and feel very much an Indian Princess in them. It’s also really satisfying to wear earrings that are so long they actually touch your body… hence the term ’shoulder dusters’ I suppose.

Love Lady Smaggle xxx

I realised something very shocking today. It’s summer in Australia. And that’s not the worst of it… when it’s Summer in the Southern Hemisphere it’s Winter in the Northern Hemisphere. True story. This means zero season appropriate fashion inspiration from the right side of the globe. All the fabulous fashion sites are all about knee high socks and mittens and hats and I am sweltering in 30 degree heat trying to figure out how to look half way decent while wearing the least amount of clothing possible. My solution? One word for you my pretties - ARCHIVES. Oh yes I’m becoming an Internet stalker of the worst kind flicking through the back logs of street style and personal blogs alike. So I’m going to post pictures of my favourite outfits from the other summer. Here is a tasty treat from Lebonbonmulticoloure, my favourite wardrobe remixer. She also has a street style blog called MTLStreet. These are ensembles she was wearing a year ago but it’s fabulous inspiration for us Summer bunnies who are looking for something a little different this silly season…

Here are a few Bon  Bon tips to keep you going  through summer

* Don’t over accessorise - Keep it simple. Wear a statement necklace or bangle but make sure your don’t over do it.

* Keep to neutral tones - Stick to a neutral a palette but add a splash  of colour. Lebonbon is very fond of using shoes as her vehicle for colour promotion.

* Don’t stick to one style - Just because you mostly wear dresses doesn’t mean you can’t break out the jeans.

* Grab a cardigan - Always layer. Always.

* Be quaint - Match your shoes to your bag and belt. It’s a nice way to look sharp in summer when you can’t wear scarves and hats.

Hope you’re all having a  stylish Summer! Or Winter…

Love Lady Smaggle xxx

Is anybody else freaked out that Christmas is less than 2 weeks away? If you haven’t put any thought into what you are going to wear here is a few suggestions to get you started…

Unless you have the figure and discipline of Jessica Alba I would avoid a bikini on Christmas day. With all the heat, alcohol and food you’re going to feel so disgusting and bloated that you just won’t feel happy showing your jiggling mid bits. So cover it up with a sexy one piece. All the food and alcohol on Christmas day won’t undo any of the gym work you’ve put into your legs and arms and if you cover that tum you have all bases covered. Oh and do cover up with a caftan when you go to eat lunch - it’s surprisingly unnerving eating with people who are wearing nothing but swimmers. And why not be frivolous and accessorise a bathing suit? Think Beyonce reclining on her yacht with all her hair and bling…

For a summer Christmas you need a lovely cool and casual yet stylish dress. Stick to cotton or linen because those summer sweats can be so uncomfortable if you are wearing polyester. I’m a bit of a colour snob and I find bright colours a little garish so I would stick to a neutral toned dress and then accessorise from there. Go nuts on colour if you can pull it off though! And please resist the temptation to go overboard on Christmas day. Keep it elegant and casual but versatile enough so you can kick off your shoes and play a game of footy.

For a winter Christmas go for comfort and warmth. And snuggle factor. Also dress in layers so you can strip off in front of the roaring fire if you have one too many brandies. Dark colours are more flattering and you can spill your cranberry sauce down your front and no one will notice. Wear boots for sludging through snow and warm wooly socks to keep your toes cosy!

 A common theme in all of these outfits is room for the Santa gut. I know it’s disgusting to plan ahead for Christmas overeating but it’s inevitable so get over it. Make sure everything you wear is stretch or wrap. Or flows freely around the body. Mostly I try to fight the gluttonous society I live in but there really is nothing like eating until you feel sick on Christmas day. Not only is it unavoidable it’s also expected. And it’s good for the soul to over indulge occasionally.

More Christmas tips coming your way soon!

Oh yes ladies it’s time for a little walk down memory lane. I am experiencing something for first time in my life - fashion regret. As a child of the 80’s I can blame Mama Smaggle for the flouro push down socks, massive jumpers and leggings of the era. Being 6 years old I had little choice in how I was dressed and Mama Smaggle was in full 80’s flight and I have learnt from experience that you never mess with a lady with a perm. I must say though that I have no one to blame but myself for the shameless fashion disasters I promoted through out the early to mid 90’s. I was 10 years old and fully capable of choosing my own overalls and plastic butterfly hair clips. Actually come to think of it I know exactly who to blame and it sure as hell ain’t me… It’s bloody Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh.

The Top Ten 90’s Fashion Offenders That Beverly Hills 90210 Should Be Held Accountable For…

* Denim- Pale, pale, washed out, weak and soft denim. High waisted denim shorts, denim overalls and denim shirts get the biggest mention. I believe I owned at least one of each. And if I remember correctly I owned a 90210 dinky diary that recommended I stock up on ‘classic denim’ items such as these as they were sure to be staple wardrobe items. Riiiiight… And please raise your hands in you owned a pair of Dache Tencel jeans? Those hideous baggy jeans that boasted static as one of its most appealing features? Or those long slim fit denim shorts with the strips of patterned material down the side seams? Tre chic…

* High cut bikinis - The higher the better. The ability to stretch the waist band ABOVE your hip bone gives extra street cred. Because everybody wants to see the crease between your leg and your hip…

* Matt Lipstick- Preferably in some kind of apricot or brown tone. Dark burgundy and dark red are essential for formal occasions. And whatever you do don’t try to emphasise one feature. It’s all about lips and eyes at the same time. Lots of eyeliner, lip liner and blush. And none of this shimmery bullshit. We want cakey and matt.

* Long, long hair with blunt fringes - Actually I don’t think this trend is that embarrassing. I think it’s cool. And if my hair would hold this style I cut my own damn fringe right now. And don’t even try to tell me that you weren’t in love with Kelly’s hair. We all were. Some of us still are. Just deal with it.

* Dresses with with sandshoes and socks- Remember Drop Dead Fred? With Phoebe Cate? She wore long long dresses with those little white sneakers (I think Americans call them Bass Weejuns or something?) and socks. Make sure the dress is shapeless with lots of little buttons down the front. And if you really want to be a true 90’s advocate wear a skivvy under the dress. In forest green or magenta. Andrea rocked this look a few times in the Hills… enough said.

* Grunge- This one’s for the lads. Find out what size clothes you wear. Multiply it by one million and wear that size instead. And don’t belt your baggy Stussy jeans above your arse. It’s much cooler to have your butt cheeks hanging over the top of your belt so we can see your undies. And massive sneakers with huge tongues are also cool. As are chains. Think 90210’s David.

* The miniature back pack- A teeny tiny back pack instead of a handbag. I know both Brenda and Kelly owned one but I think I may have to point the finger at Baby Spice for elongating the life of this little fashion disaster.

* Doc Martins - These were so hard core in the 90’s. Kelly wears hers with little summer dresses. Which I also think is very cool. Very Courtney Love circa Kurt Cobain…

*F*ck me bands-  Some of my international readers will be offended by this term (as will Nanny and Poppy Smaggle)and I am sure you have much more eloquent descriptions of these accessories but for those Aussies out there you know what I am talking about. All those coloured rubber bracelets that you would dish out amongst your friends and if someone of the opposite sex broke one there were all these codes about what you had to do to them. The black one was the most popular… Mostly the unpopular crowd at Beverly Hills High wore these while Kelly sneered at them and tried to kick them out of her parties.

* The Body Con dress- Think Donna. The tighter, the shorter, the better. This fad started with Azzedine Alaia and his range of super tight and short mini-dresses. Remember the little white dress that Cher wears in Clueless? That’s the one. It’s not a totally hideous idea but you need to have zero percent body fat and no shame to wear it. Just like Donna…

And if you were thinking that it’s too soon for a 90’s revival think again.

Meet Na and Tain…

Two of my nearest and dearest friends that became so delirious after after watching endless episodes of 90210 on DVD that they decided to start their own 90’s revival. I must say I am impressed with Tain’s high waisted shorts and bodysuit. And Na’s carpet dress and cowboy boots are to die for. The matt orange lipstick really completes the look don’t you think? These brave ladies actually wore these outfits in public to a rehearsal the other night. While humming the 90210 theme song and giggly like hyenas on speed.

Oh and Na has very kindly contributed a few inspirational shots for those of you who wish to climb on board the train to 90’s Town… Photo comments by Na…

Big, big hair.

High, high waists.

Bikinis and blunt fringes!

Blazers! Button-down shirts buttoned all the way up! Double denim! Bizarre prints on shirts! Collar tips! Daisies on everything! MATTE LIPSTICK…

 And now my little smagglets it’s your turn. What fashion faux par did you commit in the 90’s? Oh come on! I told you mine…

I LOVE GHOST WHISPERER!!! Seriously. This show has everything - lame plot, a little bit of humour, an antique store filled with pretty things, a lead character with the most beautiful costumes in existence, a delicious man-candy husband and some of the worst scripts EVER. And for the lads there’s Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts. A friend of mine was mocking me yesterday when I expressed my excitement at being able to watch my favourite show this week. She was so cruel… She even said (in a most derogatory tone) that the ghosts have shadows. What a bitch. Although I must concur on one point. Melinda paraphrases like a mofo when translating the spirits’ final messages to their loved ones. When you are the only person who can communicate someone’s dying message you deliver it word for word. Honestly, it’s no time to get creative. But on a style related note here are the trends I’m loving from the show -

* Plum coloured eye shadow with thick, thick lashes- Jen has been rocking this look for the past few episodes and I think it looks so divine. I may have to wait for winter to try this one though as I think the look is a little heavy for summer. A single tear trickling down your cheek as you watch a ghost ‘go into the light’ is an essential accessory to this look.

* Floaty dresses and boots- Big flouncy lacy dresses with pointy witchy boots. This look is so fantastical and fairytale-esque. Perfect for strolling down the main street with a take away coffee, ready to jump into your massive four wheel drive to chase after nasty spirits.

* Lace around the face - A lace collar or neckline framing the face to make you look delightfully feminine. Good for rolling around in bed with your stupidly smooth husband or for daintily chopping carrots in the kitchen.

* Dark nail polish - This look is utilised most effectively when Melinda is googling deaths in her town while sipping a glass of wine in front of a roaring fire with her muscle rippled husband. Dark nails always look best holding a glass of red wine. Always wear white with dark nails to avoid looking too goth. Just a scarf or some earrings will do.

* A chain with a pendant - Works best with DD breasts. Which I don’t have. But for those who are blessed with an ample cleavage a simple antique pendant on a long chain is simply beautiful. Shown most effectively in Ghost Whisperer when Melinda is ducked under a table hiding from a spirit with her antique charm necklace dangling perilously from her neck…

One of my male readers requested that I write a post on men’s style. Well that’s the clean version. What he actually wrote was ‘I want to elevate myself above the level of “sloppy douchebag”‘. Right. Well lets start with the basics then shall we? In boy language so we’re all on the same page…

* For God’s sake wear pants that fit - Sloppy pants are terrible. Do you want people to think that you wear nappies? Are you perhaps using the excess room for storage? Are you hoping to grow into them one day? No? Then burn the bastards and get some pants that hug the parts we ladies so admire. Your bums. Not the other things… Never wear pants that hug those.

* Don’t be afraid of accessories - Hats and scarves boys. Hats and scarves. Both at the same time if you’re feeling a little devilish. I find the difference between a well-dressed gent and a stylish one is usually as simple as a hat or scarf.

* Don’t be afraid of colour - If the colours of your wardrobe are black, grey, brown, green and blue it’s time to start thinking in technicolour. Think red, orange, pink (carefully) and yellow… That’s right I’m talking all the colours that hang on the wrong side of the colour wheel. Little splashes of colour in your belt or your shoes is all it needs. A funky red watch, some crazy neon yellow trainers or a thick dark pink leather cuff. Seriously you will be beating the ladies off with a stick. Actually the men too because they’ll be trying to steal your fabulous man accessories.

* Dress to your body shape - If you are 6 foot 4 and built like a pre-pubescent girl wear skinny leg jeans like a mofo. If you are a gym junkie wear long sleeve collared shirts rolled up to your elbow to show off your amazing forearms. If you are short and cuddly go for tailored shirts untucked with well-fitting pants and a hat to balance you out. It’s not rocket science just look in the mirror and figure out if what you are wearing is flattering. Take a bitchy girl shopping with you. Sisters and mothers are ideal.

* Get your clothes tailored - Don’t give me your ‘I can’t afford it’ sooky-la-la bullshit. It costs $20 to $30 to have a shirt taken in at a tailor and around half that for having pants taken up. Quit your whingeing and just do it. Is $30 (the cost of a few beers and a burger at the pub) worth it to have a shirt that fits so well that ladies will caress it as you walk by…? I thought so.

* Add your own funky twist - Dye your hair a funky colour or wear lots of rings. Maybe wear a short beaded necklace or a long string of leather wrapped around your wrist? If you could send one message to the world what would it be? Try to convey it through your clothing. You don’t speak to everyone you see so give them a visual message about who you are and what you stand for.

* Get over it - I know you love your stinky grey hoodie. And that t-shirt with the marijuana symbol on it that you wore every weekend in year 10. And your first ever $100 suit that you wore to your cousins wedding. Throw it all away. Right now. Anything faded, stretched, sans elastic, too big, too small or half devoured by moths has to go. Anything with Loony Toons, Ren and Stimpy or South Park should probably be confined to bed wear. Unless you want to get laid.

Be observant. Next time you see a guy whose style you admire try to pin point exactly what it is that you like about it. Try and figure out if the look will work for you and experiment with different things. And check out these street style sites that regularly feature classy men in their natural habitat. Here are a few looks that I love…

Hel Looks

His braces look fantastic and they match his shoes. Uniformity on a man makes me weak at the knees. He is also a well built guy with short legs and the braces paired with straight black elongate him making him appear taller. And check out the beard and moustache combo. What an extraordinary man he is.

Hat and scarves! Hats and scarves! Okay I admit the pants are a little scary and perhaps you shouldn’t try them at home but look at how much the red scarf lifts his ensemble. He has combined accesories AND colour. This guy is a genius.  

Skinny leg jeans look fabulous on skinny guys. His t-shirt and jeans fit perfectly and his accessories are awesome. Obviously this look may not be quite right for you but he is still sticking to the general rules. 

Face Hunter

 

This look is fabulous. Clean, well cut and lovely use of muted tones with a splash of rich mahogany. And look at him working his body shape! Oh yeah!

Now this look may be a little Edward Scissorhands for you but he is still working the rules. Well fitting pants, chunky shoes to balance his body shape, fabulously unique hair and excellent use of accessories. The slightly arrogant charm is also working wonders for him.

Great use of colour and very brave accessories. Is anybody else impressed that a guy can pull this off and not look totally homosexual? I mean he could be gay of course (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but the point is he manages to rock a rather feminine look while keeping his sexuality elusive. The saucy devil.

Simple and clean lines to work in with his body shape. The shades are all kinds of perfect. The jeans are a little saggy but I forgive him because of his delicious olive green coat.

Why not double layer two hoodies on a cold winters day? Start thinking out side the box babies! No matter what kind of jeans you wear make sure they fit well! And what a wonderful way to wear a tie. You could almost get away with this in an office job.

Love the pants and the orange vest. The tailored jacket is divine. His confidence is also incredible.

And what’s a men’s style post with out a little Depp? (Ladies this one’s for you…)

Johnny Depp

Most Stylish Men

USAToday

People

Oh Johnny. No other man can ever compete. Okay I can hear the cries of protest from you lads out there wondering what is so special about the way he dresses. I know he sometimes looks like he is wearing pajamas but all I have to say is this…

Meet Vanessa. Johnny’s partner. She’s French. Just something to think about…

Oh and if you choose to ignore my advice and dress any way you damn well like I beg you to do it well. If you are going to spite me make it REALLY SPECTACULAR. Like these fancy fellows…

Hel Looks

I will leave you with a quote from the beautiful Diana Vreeland…

‘Never fear being vulgar, just boring’

Dedicated to Arran.