Print from matteart at Etsy

* Waking up with the sun on a gorgeous Sunday morning, wearing nothing but vanilla scented oil, stretched out in crisp cotton sheets, listening to Jack Johnson.

* Sharing pink champagne with one of my favourite ladies on a warm Saturday evening at a stone tuscan table, eating spring rolls.

* A tiny bag of delightful presents from Mr Smaggle from Japan. Geisha pens, a scarf, a key ring and a tiny purse. Delightful!

* Not having just one best girl friend but having about ten instead.

* Apple cider.

* Spending a truly beautiful Sunday locked in a darkened and chilly theatre… and loving every second.

* Catching up with my wife Browny after being away from her for a week.

* Boys who wear jaunty hats.

* Mama Smaggle letting Daddy Smaggle do the grocery shopping and him returning with fresh fruit, dried fruit, fruit toast, fruit slice, fruit cake and fruit and nut chocolate. Bless.

* Sharing sneaky chocolate feasts with friends and greedily not sharing with anyone else.

* Icy cold lime and mint frappes served by a cute boy with thick glasses and thousands of piercings.

What’s tickling your fancy today…?

For Becky…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx 

My parents have sold the Smaggle castle right out from underneath me and I have to have all my scarves, shoes, bangles and books packed away within a week. What’s a girl to do? Procrastinate like a little bitch by dressing up and frolicking in the mess of course. Here’s a little tribute to my two favourite places in the whole house….

My bedroom

I have lived in this room since I was 9 years old. The white carpet is covered with glitter and eyeliner and the walls hold the marks of impromptu Flash Dance impersonations, failed cartwheel attempts and over-heated fragrant oil explosions. The window is framed with ivy leaves and the walls are painted a dark, sultry pink. If these walls could talk… I imagine they’d say the most extraordinary things about your Lady Smaggle. She never cries in public, she looks at herself in the mirror when she talks on the phone, when she’s really happy she says it out loud even if she’s alone and she does a fabulous Phantom of the Opera… complete with cape and mask. 

The Bathroom

Can I tell you a secret? I have baths ALL THE TIME. At least three times a week. I take piles of books, fill the bath with bubbles and oils and sit in the delicious warmth until I wrinkle like a prune. This bath is incredible. It’s really long and really deep so you’re completely covered. I was terrified of this bath as a child and now I don’t quite know how I’ll live with out it. I know I sound dramatic but it’s my safety blanket. Imagine if someone took away the ocean? Or chocolate? Or romantic comedies? It’s my haven where I escape for a few hours and when I emerge the world is bright again. Keep your fingers crossed for me that one day I’ll live in a house with a perfect bath again. 

And my boxes still aren’t packed…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Foto_decadent

Why don’t you…

* Wear brilliant sparkling eyeshadow and encrust your lids with tiny jewels? In turquoise and magenta gems?

* Sweep your hair into a tatty mess and decorate it with brittle willow twigs? Make your head an inviting home for tiny bird friends?

* Wear an extraordinary ball gown to work and bind your waist tightly with a men’s cummerbund? Pin a Christmas decoration to your wasp-like waist?

* Cover your face in the palest of powder and white out your lips with a matte concealer? Make your face look like a photograph stripped of pigment?

* Wear black gloves with the pinky finger cut off? Exposing tiny scarlet-painted nails?

* Wear every piece of neck attire that you own - necklaces, ties, scarves, collars -  everywhere but around your neck? A bow tie on your wrist? A string of pearls around your head? A mess of metal chain pinned to your jacket collar?

* Take to never wearing street clothes in your own home? Perhaps don a Japanese-style robe and turban? A caftan and some bangles? A vintage slip with woolly knee-high socks?

* Wear a wig?

* Paint a tiny pattern of fleurdelis with liquid eyeliner? Just beneath your eye?

* Wear a patterned t-shirt backwards? Keep your front persona completely clean and decorate your back so you leave a lasting impression as you walk away?

In loving memory of Diana Vreeland

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Dear Facehunter,

I regret to inform you that my love for you is waning. Rest assured that this has nothing to do with your artistic integrity. I think you are extraordinary. It’s far more personal than that. My heart is heavy with your betrayal and the reasons why are threefold -

* You came all the way to Australia and didn’t bother to tell me. This prevented any opportunity for me to be snapped casually lolling on doorsteps in Paddington wearing short-shorts and smoking rollies. Okay, so I don’t live in Sydney, I don’t smoke rollies and I don’t wear shorts but I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR YOU!

* You are not visiting Canberra. I understand why, but that doesn’t stop the pain.

* After seeing you on Fashion Hayley I’ve discovered that you are not only talented but also gorgeous. Why are you not my husband? Poor form.

Despite the fact that my heart is breaking I have compiled a post of your greatest Australian hits.

So well done Facehunter. You’ve managed to capture a delicious assortment of street urchins that represent the spirit of my beloved country. How divinely gorgeous and multi-cultural we are.

Despite your behaviour of late I’ve decided to forgive you, dear Facehunter. After all Trinny and Susannah did it too…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx 

Audrey Tautou-esque cuteness. Thick lush eyelashes, a light, feathery jacket and a shiny pixie cut. From the Facehunter.

Shiny silver tights and deep, deep blue. Mushroom pink, pointy kitten heels. From Dressed up like a lady.

Funky, choppy hair, layered singlets and little white boots with buttons. Rock star sunnies optional. From Fashion Fake.

Sleek black, killer heels and a shaggy jacket to match your shaggy hair. From Fashion Toast.

A side sweeping fringe, cropped pants, fur collar and leather gloves. Grey suede wedge boots. Swoon. From the Glamourai.

Exceptional fringed pants with clear, healthy skin and shiny, shiny hair. From Karla’s Closet.

Slasher tee, shiny leggings, blunt fringe and a whip of red lippy. From Kingdom of Style.

A Chinese collar, platforms, a wrist full of silver and a messy ponytail. From Sea of Shoes.

I have damn season envy. I want to wear scarves and tights and jackets. Winter is a much more versatile season for someone who layers such as I do.

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

I’ve been so slack with reading other blogs recently but here are a few things that have caught my eye this week…

Chiclooks shows us some awesome illustration by Laura Laine.

Penelope’s gorgeous post on Audrey Hpeburn is definately worth the click to Cocoa.

Dressed up like a lady. Adorable. Always.

Queen Michelle’s DIY Slasher t-shirt is doing my head in. I love Kingdom of Style.

Susie Bubble layers like a bitch. Obviously.

Imelda shows us some… erm… interesting men’s shoes.

The Glamourai is my new favourite blog.

Happy clicking my little chickens!

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

My head used to swim from the perfume I smelt

My hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt

I’d taste her baby pink lipstick and that’s when I’d melt

She’d whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine

Oh I do love a little Rocky Horror inspired fashion. Hot patootie, bless my soul indeed…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Sadly, I missed last week’s episode and I heard rumours that it was close to orgasmic so you can understand that I’m quite distraught to have missed such pleasure. This week’s episode was rather weak to be honest. Here’s the break down of the highs and lows of the lame show that keeps getting lamer…

* Tabitha (the crazy actress Grandma) teaching her grand-daughter, Toothpick Annie how to ‘breath from her ass’. Gold. 

* Bitchface Naomi’s mother is twelve. And Bitchface Naomi is thirty. Seriously that girl has wrinkles. Why is it so hard to cast age appropriate people?

* I’m still not over the whole mirror twin thing - Minnesota/Kansas, adjoining bathroom, inappropriate sexual tension… It’s splendid. 

* When Bitchface Naomi is fighting with her Child-Mom and they both have weird cross eyes happening. I’m still not sure if they overdosed on Botox or whether they were just trying to look serious. 

* Okay big massive scream fest when Brenda sits down next to Kelly in the cafeteria and says ‘Wow this brings back so many memories. I can still hear the ringing of “Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin Graduates!”‘. For die hard fans she is referring to the episode in season 3 called ‘Something in the Air’ where Donna Martin gets drunk at the prom and is forbidden to graduate as punishment. Brandon rallies all the Hollywood brats together and they show their solidarity by chanting ‘Donna Martin graduates!’ until… um… the school decides to let her graduate. For some reason repetition was the key. By the way this is the COOLEST thing I have ever seen and the term ‘temporarily unavailable’ is going to haunt me while I sleep. 

* The hilarious banter between Kelly and Brenda referring to the father of Kelly’s child as ‘him’. You can only say ‘him’ if you have previously established who the person is. You can’t just ‘him’ your way through an episode trying to hide who the father of Kelly’s bastard child is… It’s just bad grammar.

* Speaking of Kelly’s bastard child  - SPOILER ALERT!!! Oh who am I kidding? We always knew it was DYLAN!!! Although they did refer to the father as a ‘do-gooder’ and at that stage I was having serious Brandon inklings. But he is a rubbish kisser and Kelly would never have babies with a lascivious blow fish.

* Why do they pronounce Naomi (nay-yo-mee) as Niomi (nigh-o-mee)? Is that how Americans pronounce it? Or is Toothpick Annie just trying to piss me off?

* Toothpick Annie sucks.

* Okay okay okay! My most favourite part was where Dixon GETS A JOB AT THE PEACH PIT! And Nat (Joe E Tata) is there and he gets all misty eyed talking about ‘…this kid I hired from Beverly High… the best worker the Peach Pit has ever seen.’ I have to say I was super disappointed that they didn’t show Brandon’s framed uniform shirt that Nat mounted on the wall when Brandon left for college. Also what is the go with the new uniform? It’s a stupid t-shirt. Where’s the 1950’s bowling shirts with the employees name artistically embroidered on the left breast? It’s all in the details people. Costume Wench - you have let me down. 

*  Dixon plays lacrosse! What a tosser!

* Swallowing is Bitchface Naomi’s standard reaction to almost everything. 

* Silver and Dixon are totally going to have sex. She called him on his dimples. They are so naked next episode. 

* Ethan has an intellectually disabled brother. Who is really, really hot. 

* Oh and Costume Wench - Why do you hate Shannon Doherty? Her breasts are large enough - the poor girl does not need ruffles in that area. She is also five foot flat. Get that midget out of cowboy boots. Now.

* When Bitchface Naomi goes to confront Slutty Gail (the whore that her Charming Arsehole Father is cheating on her Child-Mom with) and finds the address of her family’s beach house sitting in plain view on the counter of the boutique where Slutty Gail works. Man those writers are totally working over time aren’t they? Who on earth leaves their full name and address written in permanent marker in letters large enough for BLIND PEOPLE to read sitting right on the bench of their work place?

Until next week… Der, ner ner ner. Der, ner ner ner. Pah pah! That’s the opening song in case that wasn’t clear…

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Some super cool stuff that had me twitching at my keyboard…

Everybody is Ugly shows us how to fold a pocket square. Awesome.

Liebemarlene finds serious treasure while thrifting. Why can’t I find cool stuff like this when I thrift?

Coilhouse showcases some gorgeous Flickr streams. Definately worth a peak.

Indiefixx has me hankering for LADY nameplate necklace from Finch Metal. Want. Want. Want.

This girl gets snapped by both The Facehunter and the Sartorialist. I fully intend on copying her necklace.

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Photo

Put your hands up if you rocked 90210 on Monday night! Hell yeah! It was just about the most splendid two hours of my life. Two friends and I drank wine, ate truffles and screamed until the neighbours complained. Here are the highlights of the first ever episode…

* Kelly is the school counselor and she is also in the credits which makes me think she’ll be sticking around for a while. Jenny Garth is beautiful. 

* The inter-racial family with twin-like siblings that have that same creepy closeness that Brenda and Brandon shared. I do love some inappropriate sibling snuggling. There was all kinds of incestuous bed romps and beach frolics between the brother and sister. It payed perfect homage to the original icky twins. Oh they have an adjoining bathroom! Just like B & B! Shriek!

* Okay how excited were we when Silver came on the scene! Silver! That’s Baby Erin all grown up! I’m loving the introduction of the spawn of Mel and Jackie and for those slow viewers who didn’t figure it out immediately there was a fabulous scene in which Kelly comes up behind Silver, snags one of her chips and says ‘Hey sis!’. Big neon buzzing sign pointing in her direction - SILVER IS THE GROWN UP BABY SISTER OF KELLY!!!! Yeah we get it. Seriously do think anyone who didn’t watch the first series is watching this poorly edited tribute to a lame 90’s television series? You have nostalgic viewers and believe me we are well aware of who Silver is.

* I’m loving the younger, hotter version of Jim and Cindy. Although Jim and Cindy would never be that sexually forward on camera. They would read books sitting upright in bed, kiss once on the lips and roll to their separate sides. These new kids on the block were having a full on grope session. Don’t they know that parents in 90210 only have sex for procreation?

 * Oh poor little Ethan and the pentapus! The turn around on Ethan was WAY too quick for my liking. He was cheating on his girlfriend by getting a blow job in his car in the first 5 minutes of the show and then he’s there at the end and we’re supposed to like him and feel sorry for him and his sad little pentapus? I’m dubious about young Ethan to say the least. 

* My favourite line of the whole show was when the main mother (I haven’t learnt names yet) finds out that her husband has a long lost son with the mother of bitch-face Naomi. It’s priceless. ‘I can’t help but think this will have a severe impact on our family.‘ Man they sure do have brain cells to spare in the Hollywood hills don’t they?

* Nat is back. I’m still hoarse from the screaming.

* Speaking of screaming I nearly died when Shannon Doherty emerged. I thought it would be at least 3 episodes before they whipped her out. Although she is not as… erm… ‘fresh’ looking as Kelly I still love her and her crazy, crazy boobs. Oh and she was wearing a waistcoat. It was a pure tribute to her bitchin’ early nineties style. Although I was sad the waistcoat was not accompanied by long denim shorts and a floppy flower adorned hat.

* We waited and waited for Jackie. You know Kelly’s alcoholic mother? We adore her. It wasn’t until the very end that they gave us a teaser for next week in which we caught a glimpse of our favourite jaded mother. What followed was a deafening ’JACKIEEEEEEE!!!!!’. I can’t WAIT for next week.

* What the hell was with bitch-face Naomi’s hot pants? A little inappropriate for out side the strip club I think. Loving the hair though. Bitches with curly hair totally speak to me.

* We all know I like to poke a stick at the skinny minnies in this world (it’s all jealousy based I can assure you) but why do none of these girls have arm flesh? Or bums? Their backs just blend right into their legs. It’s rather scary. Silver’s skeletal appearance bothers me. Although there was a little six year old Silver and Kelly dialogue in the earlier seasons about eating disorders so perhaps they are planning a flash back???

Okay. Enough now! I feel like I’m going to pass out from the euphoria… What did you think? Oh and what kind of a viewer are you? Did any one at all watch this season with no prior knowledge of the brilliance of the original seasons? Or are you a hard core Beverly fan who had a pleasure shiver every time they saw the Peach Pit?

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

P.S Back to fashion tomorrow, I promise!