Are your favourite fashion bloggers two-faced?
‘Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.’
- Quentin Crisp, 1908
Well ain’t that the truth. That’s my life motto right there. I experiment with my clothing because I’m not exactly sure what I want to say to the world. I don’t have a huge problem with that, as I am still a relatively Spring-like chicken and I assume I’ll get more answers as I get older. Quentin McPessimism up there has me feeling like a deluded and shallow teenager though. ’Hmmm…. I’m a little confused about this whole “life” thing.’ Pause. ‘Lets go shoe shopping!’. It makes me question whether or not I am hiding behind my clothing… or worse, am I hiding behind my blog?
I read up to one hundred blogs a day. Every single one of them makes me envy (in a lovely and supportive way!) the life of the blogger. I want to frolic in daisy strewn meadows with The Cherry Blossom Girl. I want to drink tea and wear little lace dresses with The Snail and Cyclops. I want to wear killer heels and party till dawn with Queen Michelle at Kingdom of Style. I want to go shopping at sample sales and eat dumplings in London with Susie Bubble.
I am not deluded enough to think that their lives are super perfect all the time and that their days consist of swanning about in vintage dresses in a general state of pleasant-ness but blogs really do give off that image of perfection. It’s hard to imagine any of my favourite bloggers picking their noses, wearing tracksuit pants or cleaning the bathroom. I assume my readers can’t imagine me doing these things either. Well, I never clean the bathroom. But I certainly wear tracksuit pants and pick my nose. Often at the same time. We as bloggers have our own little fame game going on. Many of us get recognised and some even end up in main stream media. Unlike ‘real’ celebrities there is no paparazzi following us around and taking pictures of us drunk and puking on a Saturday night. And none of our readers will ever find out about our less-than-perfect behaviour unless we tell them about it. Our readers will only ever know what we tell them… and that’s quite a powerful position to be in.
I got recognised at work today by a charming lady who smiled and simply said ‘Hello Lady Smaggle!’ and walked away. It’s always lovely to be recognised, especially when people are so happy to see you. I walked off feeling like I was the queen of my own little universe when I was suddenly slapped with a big cold dose of reality. I got recognised by someone who works at the same place as me who (I suspect) earns way more than me as I saw her coming out of an executive office. I had just bought a Diet Coke and some gum and I was heading to the chemist to buy tampons. I then planned on paying for my car insurance. I couldn’t be more unspectacular if I tried. The only difference between myself and my fan is that I am self involved enough to write about myself in a blog everyday.
Having realised how incredibly unspectacular I am, I asked myself - Am I hiding behind my blog? I obviously don’t share everything with my readers because no one is interested in the boring stuff I did today. Having said that I never lie. I see glamorous bloggers who seem so perfect compared to me and it never occurs to me that they aren’t perfect. I’m gross and I tell people that all the time. It’s all well and good for me to post my photo looking like the lady who invented lace but I make sure that every one knows that I fell down the stairs this morning or that I picked a delightful scab at lunch time. I feel that my online persona is the real me. Bloggers whose sites I read quite regularly start to feel like friends but who is it that you are friends with? The author of the blog? Or the person that the author of blog wishes they could be?
I have a question for my fellow bloggers and also for their friends. Is your online persona different to who you are in real life? Or is your blog persona the real you? Have you ever met a reader? What was their response to you? And for my friends who read my blog am I a different Lady Smaggle here than I am when we hang out?
Just a little something for us all to think about…
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
P.S I have been reading a book about common traits of serial killers and a HUGE percentage of them are obsessive internet users… do do do do do do! That’s supposed to be scary music but it came out really lame. Dun dun DUN! Is that better?
Comments
My dear Lady Smaggle. I have several things to say.
1. Quentin Crisp wasn’t dissing you. He’s on your side. If you haven’t read The Naked Civil Servant, read it. The Englishman in New York is your ally.
2. You are not hiding behind your clothes. You are blooming because of your clothes. They are your creative expression and creative gift. And you’re jolly good at it.
3. Change your paradigm. There’s a part of you that’s trapped in the “they’re special, I’m ordinary” mindset. We are all special, because we’re all unique, and we are all ordinary, because we’re all just peoples, after all. Focus on your own creativity. Stop comparing.
4. The girls you envy envy you too, you know.
5. In answer to your specific questions. I am more myself on my blog. I talk about myself more — in real life, I’m more interested in other people. I have never met a reader I didn’t already know — but then the pictures of myself on my blog number but two and both lack clear outlines.
6. Sorry my answer is so soppy. I hope it doesn’t embarrass you. But you rock. You should know that.
great topic! i think some bloggers don’t reveal much about their lives at all, like susie, but i tend to mention where i’m going and what i’m doing, my posts have become way more personal than they used to be, maybe that’s easier? i would however never post a horrible photo of my face or an outfit, i’ll click through to use the most flattering one! My writing just comes straight from my fingers though as it’s not like you’re writing for a job or anything, just yourself! I get incredibly embarrassed if someone recognises me because i feel they will think i am uglier or something in real life and never think of my blog the same!
there’s a girl on my campus who lives in the same halls as me and she told me when drunk like a few months ago that she reads my blogs, i’ve never spoken to her before. it creeped me out a bit that she was in her room at night reading all about my personal thoughts and then seeing me every day in the dining room, a bit like someone reading your diary in secret! also she might think i only put my best outfits on my blog, which i do!
I am who I am on my blog. Except, I don’t give out my real name or location unless it is to someone who I have struck up a friendship with online. There are a few out there who know my real name. I try to portray who I really am. I talk about my life and my hubby and what we do to an extant. (without revealing location or actual company names, etc) I feel that to be honest about myself is a good thing. That way, in case I do actually run into someone in real life, they get me. Not someone who I am pretending to me. (Does that makes sense?)
i would say i am who i am in all my online interactions: wardrobe_remix, flickr, my blog, etc. i share honestly and openly with others and i do not explicitly hide anything (least of all my opinions) from anyone.
this does not mean that i share absolutely everything with everyone absolutely openly, particularly when it comes to bitsandbobbins.com. mostly this is because i don’t think it relates to the subject at hand…i.e. talking a lot about subjects that are not fashion(/design/craft)-related in what is supposed to be a fashion(/design/craft) blog. i am open and me about the things i want to show you. i show you and tell you what i feel comfortable showing/telling you.
in saying that, i am basically saying that i do think people are seeing only a fraction of me and my life. i do care about and do other things. who doesn’t? it just isn’t pertinent, imo.
i have been recognized countless times, in san francisco, in new york, etc. i have met many readers, people who recognize me or whatever. mostly, it’s like, “are you bits and bobbins? i read your blog/flickr/wardrobe_remix!” some people, inexplicably, are what i’d call “starstruck”, in that they tell me they feel like they were meeting someone famous, etc. and they act very nervous! some people email or comment to me saying they were too afraid to approach me. how hilarious! if only they knew…i’m pretty shy at times too!
i find some of this starstruck-like cute but also really funny/weird, because i am certainly NOT any sort of celebrity in my own mind.
i’m just normal gal, like anyone else…i scrub my own toilets, i have boogers, i have nasty bedhead in the morning, i sometimes get really ornery and snappy and not nice to be around. i can be a little socially awkward. and i’m sort of geeky/obsessive/nerdish.
i just choose not to show most of those things most of the time (like, for instance, the boogers or bedhead!), because i have a certain aesthetic i like to maintain visually and through my words. i like pretty, i like color, i like order, i like thinking about things and trying to articulate them in an orderly way with words. but there’s plenty of ugly and mess. i just tend to leave it to your imagination.
going back to my faults, mentioned above, i think some (or a lot?) of that comes through in what i write and choose to post about, too…i’m certainly not anything close to glamorous and chic or trendy (susie bubble, or the now gone agathe). i’ll go with a little cerebral, a little creative as descriptors…and that’s fine by me.
Wow…what a topic and yes, please come on over and we can shop and scoff together!
Well, like Selina said, I’m not about to post my constant whereabouts and activities online not because I don’t want to but because I prefer my blog not to be cluttered with a ‘Dear Diary’ feel…. as it is, I think a lot of people can’t really relate to my life as I live this very London-specific life. Me going on about going to gig/club/party and also talking about work (which is a touchy issue for me right now…) would basically bore the hell out of people or just leave them thinking ‘Ok.. you went to such and such a place… so what? What has this got to do with me?’
Rather, what I do write about are the fashion aspects of my life, the experiences, the shopping, the clothes interaction, all true stuff and is a major part of my life… so what you get in Style Bubble is like the fashion-specific version of reality….leaving out the boring crap that frankly would bore most to tears…
That said, I do try and drop other facets of my interests/persona when I am writing about fashion… bands/films/books/food I like… can’t get away from the stuff as I’m not just a fashion-obsessive….
Wow, this was such an interesting (!) post. When I clicked for comments I thought, “Only four?” but enjoyed each immensely as they were all from the very same bloggers I read.
Thank you for a wonderful read and perspective!
Great topic, lady smaggle. You make me want to go back and do a post about picking my nose and why my boyfriend says I have a very unique way of doing it.
Blogging is so new to me and I am still getting a feel for what I want to express through my blog. I’m myself but I also think that I haven’t shared too much yet. As a blogger people get to know whatever you share with them over time and becuase my blog is so new, about 3 months now, there is only so much that has been shared. I feel like I am myself in what I post but I also feel like after reading your blog, I want to share more. The things you share are mostly normal human day to day events but it makes you seem more down to earth and real. I love how you share things in a comical way, it makes it so fun to stop by and read what you are up to.
I have not been reconized yet and who knows if I ever will. I did however see fashiontoast and not say anything. For one, I wasn’t completely sure it was her until I saw the shoes she had just posted about. Two, I was a being shy and she had just posted a blog about getting reconized and how she was a little awkward, so I didn’t really want to make her or myself uncomfortable. I will tell you, she was beautiful in person!
Again, great topic as usual. I hope you never pull a stylebytes becuase just as we are all sad to see her go, you would be missed greatly.
Thanks for always making me think and laugh!
as someone who knew you before you were lady smaggle, i have to say that you are totally true to yourself on your blog. I would be lying if I said i haven’t been jealous of your creattivity and style for many many years (or I wouldn’t have asked you to be my wedding stylist)and I have not once read your blog and thought - what the? thats not the lady smaggle I know. Although, i have to say, you are funnier in person, because you get the facial expressions and hand gestures to go with what your talking about
It completes the package, so to speak.
Anyway, enough gush. You rock. (now can I go thrifting with you??)
Well, I know my blog is slightly different given it’s more a journal, but I can tell you, while the voice is my own and I don’t modify my language, I am pretty wary about how many feelings I blog about. There have been too many issues in the past of people saying things on LJ and really really pissing people off, or hurting people’s feelings, or whatev, and to be honest… I don’t want the randoms who read my blog regularly knowing about every single emotional upheaval I go through. So usually if I’m sad/mad/happy I’ll say so but I tend to be a bit circumspect about the reason why if I think it’s likely to cause friction.
But then again, my foot lives in my mouth so what I think is harmless and cute could actually be incredibly insulting… whoknows?
I don’t think anyone can be totally themselves at any point because we as humans constantly modify and adapt our behaviour to suit the environment/social contract we’re engaging in. But then I’m a Piscean and suffer from a permanent split personality complex so of course I’d say that.
Really? You don’t scrub toilets? Cause I can imagine you doing that, lol. But I guess that is my way of saying you come across as down to earth, so its fun to read.
Having known you before the Smaggle in the Lady came out I’m looking at this from the perspecitive of a friend.
Reading your blog is just like having a chat with you at any other time; it’s casual and fun and it’s 100% you.
That said, if I didn’t know you I’m sure the image of Lady Smaggle in my head would definately be different, though I’m sure not far from the truth. That isn’t your fault, but mine, the reader - it’s human nature to pedestal the person they admire in some way.
So, I don’t think you’re being dishonest in your blog, you’re being your true self. Now, if part of that was only showing us the good stuff, then that by default is in itself also showing us your true self (ie, you’re the type of person that does that).
God this shit is complicated, but I equate it to this - there is a work Ruin, a gym Ruin, a friend Ruin, and if I recall from years back an in-a-relationship-Ruin etc, etc. There are many different aspects of me and it depends on the situation to determine how I might act. I don’t consider that being dishonest, they are all me - unity in multiplicity.
I’ll stop this here before my head turns inside out.
I think you show the real you in your blog - and I love ready about any silly or embarrassing moments that you choose to share! And it’s your blog, so if you want to hold back some information, then that’s fine too.
But surely you don’t pick your nose Lady?
[…] do please check out yestersdays post I would love to know what you […]
Can I just say, I *can* imagine you picking your nose and wearng tracksuits. You are serisouly a different kind of blogger, a very down to earth, dont give a shit blogger - thats my impression anyway
And that’s why Smaggle is my favourite blog 
There are so many blogs out there that are ‘too cool’, you know? Like their shit doesn’t stink. They just piss me off.
I never lie either, but I do refrain myself from swearing as much as I do in real life
Mrs Schlegal - Aw thanks how terribly lovely of you. I promise I don’t have low self esteem or anything crazy like that I just like to keep myself in check from time to time. And I will read that book - I do hate taking quotes out of context.
Selina - How weird! I would much rather be recognised by a stranger than someone who is a peer. That’s why it was weird for me at work the other day. Because I work at the same place as her. I love hearing about your clubbing adventures and I’m glad you share!
D’Rae - I totally get what you mean. I guess I feel like people would lose faith in my blog if they met me and I wasn’t as cool as I made out I was.
bitsandbobbins - I was hoping you would comment! I have always found you to be one of the most honest bloggers and if you see something you disagree with you don’t hesitate in offering your opinion. It makes me respect you so much more as blogger and it also makes me respect your opinion. And I feel way less trendy than most bloggers out there not just bubble and bytes!
Susie Bubble - Oh I love hearing about what you are doing! And it’s the London specific-ness that makes it so appealing. You’re such a massive blogger that it might make sense for you to keep your blog a little more private. Simply because more people know who you are. With out fail all of my favourite blogs are ones where the blogger posts pictures of themselves. I like the personal aspect of it. Yours was the first blog I ever read and a year ago I thought it was the only one that existed!
And the next time I’m in London I’m holding you to shopping and scoffing!
Eve - There’s heaps more now! I hope you come back to read them it’s really interesting. Thanks for reading and more importantly thanks for taking the time to comment. It really makes my day!
Jocelyne - Ha ha! I would LOVE to here about your unique way of picking your nose! The reason why I share what I do during the day is because I’m wardrobe_remix addict and I always wondered what all the lovely ladies were doing in their pretty clothes. Plus a friend of mine from high school emailed and said she wanted to know what I was doing in my photos so I added it. I’m glad you like it! Thanks so much for regularly commenting… I’m fast becoming a fan of your blog too!
Mrs Munk - Watch out I think there’s a little bullshit dribbling down your chin… Seriously though Thank You Naomi! It’s nice to hear I am the same on my blog. I can never tell because it just all feels like me. Alright… you can come thrifting. But only if I get first dibs. And you have to buy me a Frapuccino. And a muffin.
Na - Totally if something really crap is going on in my life I won’t share it. You can usually tell when I am a bit low or cranky because the posts are short and infrequent. But that could also mean that I am really busy. I also have to be careful because so many people that I know read this blog. My grand parents, Mr Smaggle’s family… but I never say anything on my blog that I wouldn’t say in real life so I guess people have to take as I am right?
ShowA59 - No I don’t clean the bathroom. It’s more laziness than princess-ness though. Down to earth is the aim so that’s great to hear!
Ruin - That’s lovely to hear! I want my blog to be like a chat! But it kind of makes my friends ignore me a little more because I guess they feel that they don’t need to see me as much because they can just read my blog! It’s interesting - I assume I much cooler online to the people who don’t know rather than the ones that do. Not that my friends suck or anything but just that you guys have seen me at my absolute worst and you still stick around. And read my blog!
And you’re right. It’s human nature to show others our best side. It’s like I’m on a first date with my readers. I wouldn’t show up in trackies picking my nose…
Kerrin - We all do it. How else are you supposed to get boogers out? And don’t you lie to me and say that you blow. Sometimes only a good dig will do. I tried to edit your comment by the way but I couldn’t I only managed to delete the one asking me to edit the other one. Sorry!
Ivy - Aw thanks Ivy that’s just a bit old shucks right there. Is Smaggle really your favourite? Wow! I try not to swear as much on my blog. Not that you can tell sometimes. And I like to tell people that my shit stinks. Cos it does!
this post is fantastic and it’s great to see other bloggers’ input.
i always grapple with this myself: am i presenting myself as i really am, or who i’d like to be? it’s a combination of both. i hope to include some of my personality (i am working on my writing voice - i hate sounding like a robot) but there’s also a lot of aspiration in it.
i don’t wear nicely put together outfits every day, i only post the ones i like. to be honest, half the time i’m grungy and messy and wearing exactly what i wore the day before. and people i know probably don’t understand the extent to which i follow fashion, because i don’t necessarily look classically put together.
still, i never lie. i think what susie said about not wanting her blog to become too “dear diary-esque” is perfectly right. too self-involved and it becomes a livejournal, though some bloggers do that very well.
as far as getting recognized, that would both flatter and embarrass me to know end. i get flustered enough when my dad reads my blog!
x
allison
ack, NO* end. i’m a stickler for proper spelling!
no, no bullshit….just wanna go thrifting with you
Also, may need some sort of baby stylist soon… 
And have you ever known me to lie?
Allison - Oh me too! My favourite is when my friends will say to me that they have been thinking about something they read on my blog. Not only that they have been reading it but also that they want to talk about it! Makes me all blushy…
Mrs Munk - Holy mother fucking shit. That’s freakin awesome!!! I’m on Etsy right now looking for baby goodness…
Great post! Well I must confess I do lead a dreadfully glamorous life which involves things like picking up dog poo, checking for any new wrinkles which have appeared over night and other age related activities which may or may not include checking for grey hair, having constantly runny eyes and nose from allergy induced asthma (which involves sucking on an inhaler every 2 minutes - very attractive), scrubbing the bath and polishing the floor.
I am exactly as I am on the blog. I dress that way, I speak the same, the only thing I do is be aware of over-sharing. I try and keep things relevant. If I am going to be absent from the blog I make sure people know why as I feel I have a responsibility to people who bother to check every day to not waste their time.
I want to know that if people met me in real life they wouldn’t see a different person. If you did meet me, chances are I’d be wearing one of the outfits I posted on the Monday!
what an interesting post!
I think it is difficult to escape the fact that we all assume a persona of sorts simply by what we choose to write vs. what we omit. The story of Cinderella told from the Stepmother’s perspective would be entirely different, even if neither was an actual lie. I think most of us started blogs in the first place to have a forum to discuss a particular hobby, and we do not actually traipse about entirely consumed by fashion in real life. We all also show different sides of ourselves to different people. I have to say that I behave a bit differently around my friends from class than, say, my drinking buddies, but that doesn’t mean I am lying or faking my personality. I’d say I write quite similarly to how I speak, so internet-me is certainly recognizable.
As for real life, I have been recognized once. It was someone who knew me from wardrobe_remix, and they posted a comment on one of my photos to say they had seen me in real life. I have had people I know find my blog, though. That was a bit unsettling because I generally keep it to myself so as not to come across as self-obsessed…to people outside of the blogging world, posting a picture of daily outfits could easily seem quite self-indulgent. I would love if someone approached me to say they recognized me, and I would never hesitate to say hello to someone I ‘knew’ from the internet. I think it would be fun to meet other bloggers for a coffee or thrifting adventure, because we fill such a quirky niche.
…maybe we’re all proto-serial killers though.
Queen Michelle - I try not to over-share. That sounds weird because I am quite gross and I do share quite a lot of un-important stuff but I never share emotional stuff. I do agree that it’s polite to keep your readers informed if you are going to be absent for a while. I have had readers see me and be quite surprised when I am wearing my daily outfit shot. Like as if I take the photo and then get changed!
Natasha - We do have so much more going on in our lives than fashion and obviously that will spill over on to our blogs. And there are so many bloggers that I would love to meet! Although the serial killer things is still a little scary…
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