Style Crisis - Naughty VS Nice
In a fashion sense I don’t like to categorise myself. I like to think that I’m this big tree-hugging-hippy of the fashion world who believes that all trends are created equal and are worthy of attention. You know the girl I am talking about, the one that can swing from Balenciaga to Erin Featherston without blinking a Shu Umera glitter eyelash. The girl that will wear a leather jacket with an evening gown or stilettos with a men’s business shirt and thus I created this image of myself as the Mother Teresa of style. After donning my halo of fashion equality I went flicking through my daily outfit shots (disgustingly self indulgent I know but I do this from time to time) to praise the versatility of my fashion sense. I was about half way through the list when I realised something quite shocking. I’m soft. Really soft. Like floaty little dresses, lace ribbons, ballet flats and curls kind of soft. Exclusively soft. How terribly disappointing. Even when I am wearing all black with slices of red and aviator sunglasses I manage to ruin the streamlined style with some form of ruffle or frill. And I just can’t ditch the lace. I try and I try but my soul bleeds for it.
Sometimes I wish that I was tall and slim with a blunt fringe, skinny leg jeans and chunky wedges with chains and padlocks on them. However I have sampled this look and it just doesn’t work for me. I come out looking like a Cabbage Patch Doll of the underworld. It’s all the pesky dimples and rosy cheeks I have happening. Can’t I be gaunt and morose like a Russian model? Can’t I have a truck width gap between my thighs? Can’t I wear impossibly over-sized clothing without appearing like a human marshmallow? And why is it that when I do smoky eyes they just look dirty but they look so chic on the girls with razor sharp cheekbones who have boyfriends named Claude?
To be perfectly honest though, I don’t really mind being cute. I decided long ago that all women are either sexy or cute and are rarely both. I’m cute. I’ve resigned myself to the fact with my Pollyanna ringlets, chubby cheeks and my tendency to fall asleep in public I’m destined to be a ringleader for the Strawberry Shortcake brigade for the rest of my life. The manga-like sweetness has it’s pluses though. It’s likely I am going to look like I am twelve forever. People let their guard down because I look like a sugar coated bunny rabbit but really I’m a calculating bitch from hell. Oh and old people are always nice to me because I dress like a lady.
This leads me to the main point of this post. I’m clearly icing sugar on the outside right? Just a big old bucket of rainbows and sunshine. However if you read my blog regularly you’ll know I am a sassy lass who is sarcastic, rude and quite self indulgent. So I’ve been thinking that maybe we dress in opposition to our personalities to even it all out? You know what they say about women who dress like librarians. Absolute demons in the sack. And girls that show it all off can sometimes be quite shy behind closed doors? So I’m turning it over to you ladies! Do you agree? Are you a sweetheart who likes to wear leather? Or a nasty girl who has a penchant for twin sets and pearls? You can also mention your sexual prowess if you feel that it’s necessary…
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
Hee hee! Awesome post!
My cousin told me the other day that one of her friends is scared of me because I’m “too cool”. I baulked at this, obviously, because I am a rage-filled ball of spaz who can’t ride a bike for fear of falling off. However, what with my penchant for scarlet lippy, black, enormous sunnies, poker-straight hair, and stalking around in a grouch, I’d have to admit that I probably give off some kind of air of insouciance created in order to misdirect the uninitiated into believing I am cooler than a PhD student in literature would tend to be.
but then again, I’m going to be singing in a country band so maybe I *am* cool…
Hmmm… what does that make me, Lady Smaggle her self once called me the personification of cute (in response to my giant boy-friend saying he didn’t like cute).
I always thought I dress kinda nerdy as I spend my days splashing around in dangerous chemicals, jeans t-shirts and sensible shoes really are the only option. Perhaps this means I am unbelievably cool and nasty on the inside? Well if you did really want to, I could fuck someone up bad… you don’t want to know the crazy shit I can make at work. If I medicined you you’d think a brain tumour was a birthday present.
Na - You are indeed way cooler than you think you are. How cool is Bernard Black? So you’re going to be singing in a country band? Is this a new thing? Or something you added to counter balance your icy exterior?
Dr Stumpy - You are the personification of cute! It’s the baby hands all the way. And don’t worry. I know that dispite your cheerful appearence you’re a viper on the inside. 4 years of blinding chickens will do that to you.
haha, just the other day I wanted to comment on how cute you are Lady Smaggle!
I believe women are either cute or sexy, and I fall in the cute category. No matter how I dress, people know I am just this nice sweet cute woman, haha. And because I live in Japan I get chased all the time by high school girls, boys and old women exclaiming “KAWAII!!!”
But, interestingly enough, with this cute exterior, most men seem to ALWAYS assume I am this freaky sex goddess. NOW THAT I can’t explain.
ShowA59 - He he thank you! You are most certainly cute. But often cute can dome across as sexy for the lads. Mr Smaggle thinks I am sexy as and he just get that it’s really cuteness…
LOL, ahh I laughed out loud numerous times reading this article. You’re funny.
But you know what, I think you’ve hit a revelation! It makes sooo much sense!
I don’t know about the sexy/cute thing, cos sometimes cute is sexy. It confuses me.
You are lady like though, but you’re a Virgo, it comes natural to you. I love your style. Doing the whole “blunt fringe, skinny leg jeans and chunky wedges with chains and padlocks” thing doesn’t show an ounce of personality. Your style does though - it’s Smaggle Style! It’s one of the reason why I visit your blog practically everyday lol. <3
Cute or sexy? I guess that is in the eye of the beholder. I think my look is sexy - cute. My trainer once told me, on spotting my tattoo, that he couldn’t believe I would have something like that because I always look so polished and put together. So I guess I’d have to say that my look is more lady like, but I guess I am just a bad girl underneath.
Ivy - Oh Ivy you know just what to say to take a gal’s breath away! I’m actually a Virgo/Libra which explains why I dress like a lady but usually with a weird twist. It would be cool to be able to change my style more but it just doesn’t suit. My cheeks will be pinched and my head patted for the rest of my days…
Super Kawaii Mama - Ha! That’s the perfect example. A secret tattoo… how devilish!
‘ringleader for the Strawberry Shortcake brigade’- lol! i’m joining that brigade! I’ve become super girly, maybe because i don’t want to grow up and join the big wide world? or maybe because i’m a minx underneath… you’ll never know!
you do have a soft style. I would think living in australia has some to do with it. My stlye is very spastic, I don’t have a specific look these days.
Great post btw.
Selina - You are totally girly too! Did you used to not be so girly though? I’ve always been quite girly. And I think I have a Peter Pan complex just like you!
Hailey - Do you really think that location plays a part in it? How interesting. Yeah even though my style is all over the shop it’s always pretty soft.
Hum… I think I fall into the ’sexy’ category. No matter what I am wearing I am almost always singled out as the ‘naughty one’ or the ‘wild girl’ by men, even when my girl friends think that I’m just crazy/wacky/super fabulous. I’m not really girly. Girly doesn’t work on me, neither does ‘classic chic’, even though I would love to dress that way.
This cracked me up! I’ve definitely spent a long time in the “cute” category.
Sam - Hell I would kill to be sexy! Not I don’t think I have a little sexy in me it’s just overwhelmed by all the chubby-cheeked cuteness. I say if you’ve got it flaunt it girl! Rock the sexy!
WendyB - Hell yeah! We’re clearly both cute bitches. How ironic of us!
I don’t really get cute OR sexy - although I usually get “innocent and smart” until I open my mouth. Guys are usually only attracted to me after I prove that I’m not as naive as I look. Does that make me cute?