How to Dress Well At Age 40
Welcome to the third installment of the How to Dress Well series. The reader that inspired this series originally asked me how to dress well at age forty. Here is my humble opinion… I hope it serves you well.
Firstly lets get through the list of things you need to admit -
* My dear it’s time to put the puppies away- I am not against a little cleavage action but if your breasts are brown and saggy wrinkle burgers I would rather not see them. If you still have the milky, white, firm breasts of Venus then go ahead and show them off. In fact if you have breasts like that at the age of forty just don’t wear a top at all. Otherwise put em away. No one thinks it’s attractive. Especially in the form of the side boob, which I’ve seen a few older ladies sporting quite recently. Damn summer.
* Less colour = classy - I know that this is a very controversial opinion but I do think that ladies in their forties who continue to wear bright orange/green/purple/yellow look a little deranged. Any woman above the age of forty who looks stylish and appropriate is usually dressed in neutrals and muted colours. If you must have your brights be subtle about it. Use accessories, shoes and bags to explore the colours of the rainbow. If you love colour try pastels or jewel tones. Don’t wear a bright floral pink and orange moo-moo.
* Experiment with shape- There are so many beautifully structured items out there that I would love to wear but I feel I am too young to pull it off. Stiff white shirts in interesting shapes, large gathered skirts and clunky little heels. In my mid-twenties dream head I like to think that forties Lady Smaggle will dress like she owns an art gallery. Try designers like Yohji Yamamoto or stores like Von Troska. Both cater to a more mature market yet their clothes are still beautiful and appealing.
* Take an interest in art - Start experimenting with fabulous accessories. Beautiful felted bags, gorgeous organic metal brooches and hand painted silk scarves. This is the era when you can start actually wearing things like that instead of just admiring them.
* It might be time to go designer- Consider the option of buying yourself a designer hand bag. I don’t mean an ‘it’ bag I mean that Hermes Kelly you’ve been wanting since you were fifteen. Or that Chanel 2.55 that you never found in a thrift store. If you have loved it for 20 years it’s likely to be something that will bring you much joy in the future. Go on, shout yourself something spectacular for your fortieth! You deserve it!
* You know what your flaws are - So just accept them. Stop putting off buying clothes because ‘one day you might lose weight’. Dress the person that you are. Not the person you will be. Here are some lovelies from the Sartorialist. I have decided against using my Polyvore collages for the upper ages as most of the clothes are modelled on a size zero mannequin. And I don’t know any size zero forty year olds. And although these ladies may not be in their forties I believe their style and grace can easily be translated to a modern, funky but maybe less than perfectly figured 40 year old.
This shirt dress is perfect for your forties. I would try wearing it with a beautifully cut pair of straight leg black pants. But that’s just because I hate leggings.
These pants are splendid. Comfortable and interesting yet they will hide a multitude of sins. High necked collars are also your friend if your decolletage leaves a little to be desired. But if your breasts are heading south avoid a severely high neckline. It will only emphasise how low your breasts actually are. And you’ll look like the headmistress if a Catholic girls school.
Navy and grey is an excellent choice. You are far enough out of school that these colours won’t make you cringe as they remind you of your uniform and they look delicious together. If you wear these colours in your twenties you risk looking like a librarian. Wear them now and you’ll look effortlessly classy.
Another terribly mature thing to do is to stop wearing fitted clothes. Diana Vreeland once said that it’s terribly chic to fit your clothes easily and that wearing your clothes too tight was an American habit that caught on. Well the lady in this picture is from New York and is presumably American so lets just say they are obviously redeeming themselves! Take a leaf out of her book and wear a deliciously floppy Egyptian cotton shirt or drape yourself in an artistically baggy skirt. Tre chic!
Long skirts. They are slimming, classy and will hide all manner of cellulite and varicose veins. If you are tall you should wear nothing else.
Obviously this skirt is a little on the short side but I adore mature women wearing head-to-toe-cream. Avoid doing this in your late fifties though or you’ll look like you’re going to lawn bowls. Make sure you spice your cream up with colourful accessories.
Structured dressing at it’s finest. What beautiful shapes and textures. And those heels are perfect. This is the sort of look you should be playing with. Different fabrics and silhouettes to take you in to a much more refined and planned era dressing.
The point is to dress like the sophisticated, intelligent and articulate woman that you are. Accept your flaws and try to work around them. You also have full license to stop following trends. Dress beautifully and with dignity.
Love Lady Smaggle xxx
Dedicated to Kerrin Smaggle
Comments
I’m so excited that this was dedicated to me!! I think there is some fantastic advice here - and I love being given permission to spoil myself. Had to laugh about your warning for 50 pluses to avoid too much cream, in case they look like they are going to lawn bowls. I left for work the other morning in an 80s retro, synthetic white dress - and my hubby called me “matron”. Obviously not the look I was going for!!
(for the record, I’m not 50s plus)
I think this is some good advice. I have to say, though, that I disagree about the portion on color. Instead of avoiding color, I think that 40 somethings should stick to specific shades - ie, instead of going neon, go jewel-tone. If the colors are more muted, they will still provide punch without looking looney.
Kerrin - Tis my pleasure! Stay tuned for my piece on investment dressing!
Natasha - Thanks for your advice love but that’s pretty much what I said. I even used the phrase ‘jewel tone’… The sub-heading must have thrown you off!
I must say these kind of how-to-dress-at-what-age make me feel like I should just retire to a convent and wear sackcloth and ashes! It’s a bit depressing!
Ha, I’m sorry, you’re right. I misread that section I suppose.
WendyB - Wow that’s not the message I was trying to send at all! I was just trying to make the point that women in that age group should cover up a little more and avoid fads like neon colours. I thought the rest of it was quite positive really. And I always say to dress any way that pleases you. Especially if that means ignoring everything I have said!
gotta disagree with the color thing, too: check through the archives of hel-looks (http://www.hel-looks.com) and http://www.fashioni.st for some classy older ladies wearing color. it’s less about colors, at ANY age, and more about refinement of one’s style. you can bet your sweet bippy i’m not going to confine myself to white, gray, black and other neutrals only once i pass the 40 year old mark.
Tricia! I was a heart beat away from including you in that piece as a perfect example of why you shouldn’t listen to what I say. But as you clearly aren’t in your forties I thought it might offend you. I really think that the paragraph on colour was mis-read. I was simply advising people to be careful with really bright colours because they are really hard to pull off. Not everyone is as exceptional as you are at mixing brights! That’s why colours work so beautifully on you. Because you adore them and wear them with class and confidence. Those colours don’t suit most people’s personalities. And I hope you never stop wearing your brights because they look amazing on you!
well, it’s ok…i’m nearly 33!
i think *everyone* can find a color or colors that suit them, no matter their age, it merely may take some effort to discern what those colors may be. i’m not saying they should be clowns, or that they even need to be crazy with it…but color can be something that can energize, can enliven, can youthfully brighten up the skin and the spirit…and hell, don’t we need happiness and liveliness and a little spark of youth, even in our later years? i’d argue yes.
case in point: i have an aunt whose favorite color is red, and she wears it often and with panache. she’s about 60…i would never advise her to limit herself to neutrals because of her age, because that color helps to define her and her personality and it looks amazing on her.
maybe the key is to help people, of any age, to find the colors that work for them, to find the styles that work for them. there can be no blanket statements that will fit or suit every single individual or their bodies.
i suppose i am one who really dislikes do’s/don’ts lists in general! eep! i’m sort of a fashion iconoclast that way. so no offense taken/meant.
Well that sounds like a challenge Miss Tricia! I will do a follow up post on how to pick colours that are flattering for certain skins types and the power of colour dressing!
And absolutely no offense taken from me either. Only good advice for improving my blog… I’ll let you know when the colour post is up!
I am a size zero forty-five year old. Where can I find some age appropriate clothing. There are some of us out there but there are few fashion finds.
Kelly - Straight to the designer sales is where you should be heading! And sample sales. Pick the designers you love and who cater for mature women and go nuts on the sample sales. EVERYTHING is size zero. Even if it’s a little big you can have it taken in. Jump on ebay too and look for designer stuff. You should be able to get designer stuff at high street prices because there aren’t that many women who are that size. Second hand shopping is also great because people usually donate stuff they have grown out of so most of the stuff is fairly moderately sized. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice. Can you suggest some designers. I am not very fashion minded. I am just starting to build my wardrobe. My wardrobe up to this point has been gap jeans and casual pieces. I would like to replace my things with some nice classic pieces. I am a stay home mom with four children.
Kelly - I’ll do a basics post soon for you with how to stock up on good quality basics. Where do you live? Just so I can include some country-approriate stores for you.
I don’t like blanket advice aimed at women of any age. Especially women over 40, who are, guess what? Individuals. Not all of us age the same, or have bodies that look so wrinkly and scary that they need to be covered up. BTW, those dowdy, gunny sacks that you are showing as ideal outfits for 40 somethings…oh, no, I wouldn’t be caught dead in those. I am African American and as such I am fortunate to not have a lot of the ageing issues other 40-something women have, such as crows feet, turkey neck, and sun ravaged skin. Bright colors look gorgeous on me and I wear them well. I am not in denial about my age and nor do I dress without style. I wear simple cuts and funky accessories. I have a great pair of arms and love tank tops, and spaghetti tops, and low cut jeans. You cannot give older women one size fits all advice. It is sexist and ageist. I wish for once we could concentrate on giving women fashion advice geared toward body type and lifestyle AND TASTE, instead of concentrating on age.
Dondi - I totally agree that all women are individuals. And some can totally kick butt in bright colours. Especially gorgeous African American ladies such as yourself. And if you have great arms go for the singlet tops! That what I said in the post - if you’ve got it flaunt it. I was just pointing out that if you don’t then perhaps you should consider other options. I understand that there are wonderful women out there with fantastic style and flair but there are a lot of women who don’t have a clue. I got several requests from readers for this article all of whom were really happy with the advice. I offered ‘my humble opinion’ and even stated that the advice was based on how I imagine I will dress in my forties. And if you think that means I will look ‘dowdy’ well so be it!
I didn’t intend for the post to be ageist or sexist it was simply me offering my advice based on personal preference. Also if you don’t like blanket advice aimed at women of any age, why did you Google it?
It has recently come to my attention in the media that women are expected to dress a certain way as they age, which I think is ridiculous.
Granted, if you are not a teenager, you perhaps should not dress like one; if you are horribly overweight, you should reconsider a mini skirt; if you have wrinkly boobs, you might want to avoid showing your decolletage. However, I have no idea what these body-type issues have to do with age exclusively.
I also wonder why women of “a certain age” are expected to be one style fits all. I can’t imagine everyone over 40 wants to dress like Hilary Clinton or the Queen of England or in the cruise wear that’s targeted to them through Chico’s *shudder* or the muted, generic offerings of J.Jill.
That these are the expectations, I can’t help but wonder what this says about how society views women in general and older women in particular.
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